Poptique

Who's Yehudi?

2012-01-17T02:31:00.000-08:00

Flying violins, star burst effects, out-of-this-world choreography, and obscene day-glo leather jumpsuits held together with gaffa-tape?

Here's something to delight and offend your ears and eyes in equal measure...

I expect you're no doubt you're champing at the bit to find out what sort of plot is draped around solid gold musical numbers such as that? How about one that kicks off with the love-lorn lead (Kamal Haasan) attempting a mountain-top suicide with his current squeeze (he survives, she bites the biscuit) and climaxes with the same chap driving off into the distance with the beguiling Srividya, who's been chasing him the whole picture, in an exploding car.

Good stuff the producers of this 1986 Tamil romance that mixes Romeo & Juliet with Fame and Staying Alive decided to stick some eye-popping fun in between two such downbeat bookends.

I'm not a big fan of post-70s Bollywood - give me trumpety RD Burman over composer Ilaiyaraja in synth-mode anyday, I'm sorry to say. But, it's still quite beguiling to see the versitile Haasan, here looking like a cross between a Nighthawks-era Sly Stallone and Al Pacino in Carlito's Way, glide around to what sounds to my illeducated ears like the soundtrack to a Sega Megadrive game...

Slappy New Year

2012-01-01T02:25:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to all visitors past and future to old Poptique!

What indeed does 2012 have instore for us..?

As long as the world doesn't conk it, as the Mayan's supposedly reckoned, I think we should be in for a goodun'. (plus, since the Mayan's failed to predict their own conking, I can't see why we should take their word for anything...)

It's come to my attention that the Christmas message I thought I'd posted didn't actually get onto this site in the end. Had you been witness to my epic struggle to cut the thing together and send out around 40 odd unique cards to various personages on Christmas Eve afternoon, when I should have been making merry instead, you would be more forgiving of my festive tardiness.

It comes to you courtesy of myself and Persistent Peril - hope you had a very merry Christmas!

Kismet Dun Met It's Kismet

2011-09-22T06:59:00.000-07:00

Long time visitors to Poptique will know that any film that's "lost" gets a big fuck-yeah thumbs up from me. It consistently quivers my conscience that a piece of work, toiled over many months, and enjoyed (or indeed, otherwise) by thousands across the globe has crumbled into powder, gone up in smoke and vanished into thin air.

Therefore it's also a shocker when something ridiculously obscure and unimaginably rare appears on Youtube for it's millions of users worldwide to roundly ignore, and for a tiny handful of contrary nostalgia nuts like myself to gawp at.

Take this seemingly innocuous behind the scenes footage from the set of the 1930 version of creaky operetta Kismet.

Opulent was the word for this grand 65mm widescreen, two-colour technicolor extravaganza that traveled the world wowing audiences in the dark days of the depression. How can a tiny tease of home movie footage be all that survives of the blighter? Very mind boggling - if, like me, your mind is boggled by the now essentially pointless debris of cinematic history.

Pity poor Otis Skinner - this legendary figure of the American stage had been famously plying his trade as the lead in Kismet for over 20 years when the film was released in 1930, having already recorded the performance for posterity for First National back in the 20s. Posterity gave old Otis the figure however, as both have been swept away like the sand from the sound stages upon which they were lensed (how's that for a lovely bit of poetic prose?).

The sets and costumes from Kismet probably appeared in a quite a few films we're familiar with - one I wasn't, that has been positively identified as a prime example of recyclisation (an exciting word I've invented just for this article) is the 1932 Joe E Brown laughfest.

These days Brown is remembered almost entirely for saying "Nobody's perfect" to a dragged up Jack Lemon at the end of Some Like It Hot, but in the early pre-code 30s he starred in hit after ribald hit for Warner Bros with his sassy, big mouthed act. I can honestly say I've never sat through a single example - but one day I'll have to wallow in a brain-straining Joe E Brown festival, most likely when I'm incapacitated and in a masochistic mood to push myself over the edge.

Truth be told, Operetta's are far from the top of my list of films I'd gladly endure, so Kismet is far more alluring due to it's long lost status to add the the Eastern allure of it's rumoured pre-code sauciness (the unreleasability of which supposedly helped hasten it's ultimate destruction). Should another lamentably misplaced example ever appear - The Rogue Song from the same year - my finger would be near-constant addition to the fast-forward button to get me to the from each Laurel & Hardy guest spot to the next.

Should I be forced to watch the musical numbers my expression would be very similar to the gent to Stan's left...

LIQUID TELEVISION HITS 20

2011-06-02T07:31:00.000-07:00

To whole-heartedly half-inch a line from the opening of a doddery old Beatles album, it was 20 years ago today that MTV unleashed Liquid Television. Good ol'Cartoon Brew has alerted Poptique towers to this, and it's brought back a flood of televisual memories from the days when television was a hot-bed of unpredictability, and opposed to the bedraggled flower-bed of mediocrity that large portions are today...

Aeon Flux, Dog Boy, Dangerous Puppets et al - the whole point of the show seemed to be Forest Gump's idiot-philosophy of "never knowing what 'chu gonna get", but with the chocolate box kicked firmly into the poor boob's face, then smeared all over his blank visage.

It was always fun waiting for your favourite segment - mine, unsurprisingly, being the low-fi, high energy Stick Figure Theatre, recycling classic (albeit public domain) droplets of Hollywood history:

Liquid TV was screened in the UK as part of BBC2's post-tea time DEF II "yoof tv" strand, back when I should have been outside playing off my frozen food din dins, instead of being inside vegetating in front of the goggle-box. And just look at what rubbish my mind has helpfully erased - allowing me to wallow in glorious memories of non-stop TV brilliance from days-gone-by:

Ah well, either way - Happy Birthday Liquid TV - we may never see your like again!

Boot Sale Bonanza

2011-04-18T07:35:00.000-07:00

It's that exciting time of year again, when every weekend morn the green and pleasant fields of England ring to the sound of hard-nosed bargaining, the rattle and rustle of cold hard cash or crisp pound notes changing hands, not to mention the wailing of snotty-nosed kids decrying dropped ice lollies.

It's Car Boot Sale season, which means a bonanza for those of us who foolishly like to pick up the shite others wisely discard. For the pleasure of spending a morning offloading clutter long since past it's usefulness sellers obtain extra space and spare cash, whilst I gain the exact opposite. I do this for no apparent purpose other than force of habit...

Growing up in the countryside, the occasional Car Boot sale was always welcome distraction, but with the parents controlling the purse strings via the tactical deployment of tiny amounts of pocket moment, one was somewhat hampered when it came to the amount of crap one could reasonably escort home.

Now, long since unhindered by any sort of immediate restrictions I can happily buy any old rubbish that takes my fancy - only to suffer repercussions after the event due to dwindling shelf space and ever decreasing support for this type of behaviour from Mrs Poptique...

I used to "do" eBay full time, over ten years ago when I temporarily left the exciting media whirlwind to pursue bric-a-brac and distribute it to all four corners of the globe. Those glory days of easily coming back from a Boot Sale with carload of collectibles are also long gone. Firstly, a large majority of potential Car Booters now regularly offer their discards for sale online without the need of a go-between.

What gems remain offline and do become available in fields up and down the nation are almost immediately hoovered up by the joyless, blank-faced Hawks who pounce the second carboots are unlatched. With nothing but Amazon hit-lists and a vague notion of what's worth what, the Hawks seem to sweep down with the dawn and soon scurry away, bags bulging, back to the desktops from whence they came.

The only thing I genuinely have against these hawkers morally, and personally, is they really don't seem to take any enjoyment from picking up the assorted rubbish I still take great pleasure from. The somewhat pathetic joy I experience when chancing by a random silver age Marvel comic, a beautifully boxed NES game, or super-strange print, combined with careful consideration of the journey that item has taken before arriving in my grubby hands seems completely lost on the trolls who trawl the opening moments of Boot Sales these days, looking only for recognisably collectible commodities to shift on.

Of course, I'm being ungenerous and arrogant in the supposed superiority between the "Collector" and the "Hawker", but balls to it - this is my blog so ya boo sucks to the lot of them. Those buying for fun rather than pure profit will also take precedence on the respectometer as far as I'm concerned.

Anyway, that preamble leads me to the point of this entry - to alert readers regular and irregular alike that every now and then I'll post a bunch of images from recent boot sale finds in a similar, flag waving, "look what I got" fashion. To this end, here's a bunch of bits and bobs I recently acquired and bought home to scorn and loud discontent - very much like a tatty cat innocently dragging in a half-deceased toad or two...

Is it possible to have too many Corgi Batcopters? Yes.

The sculptor of this wee Corgi Jnr Wonder Woman car might well have been a misogonist - having given the Star Spangled Amazon the body of a builder on benefits and the face of an uprooted Easter Island head...

Lucky me - I picked up a stack of Smash comics from the mid-60s, the first publication in the UK to feature reprints of silver age Marvel characters - in this case the Hulk and subsequently Daredevil. Due to the success of DC's Batman show, the caped crusader got cover duties, with sparsely coloured repastes of his newspaper comic strip adventures. A rare case of DC & Marvel super-heroes co-existing in the same book!

A little bit further on I also nabbed some self-published Marvels from the early 70s - including the first edition of the long-running Spider-man Comics Weekly. Woo, and indeed, hoo. In the same stack was a few things dating back 60 years - including a nice copy of Adventure from 1950 (and not to be confused DC's Adventure Comics, either..!)

Battered and bruised, but still working like a charm, this is a 1965 Tom & Jerry music box, or jack-in-a-box. Turn the handle and Pop Goes the Weasel chimes along until a ragged Tom jumps out.

Highly amusing for at least 30 seconds.

What makes this a particularly attractive addition to my collection are the jaunty Chuck Jones era illustrations that adorn it's tin sides. I was never a fan of Jones' version of Tom & Jerry during the constant rotation their entire output was given on the BBC when growing up, but these are pretty nifty.

Here's Jerry being a right bastard to a happy-go-lucky Tom. As seen below, 60s Tom would rather spark up a biffter and smell the flowers - good lad. Sadly for him, 60s Jerry is a complete shit.

Cleaned up I'm sure this will make a nice addition to my desk area - especially since placing it elsewhere in the flat would most likely result on instant banishment to some out-of-sight location...

What's this nasty pile of stinky vinyl?

Surely it can only be one thing...?

It's that smarter-than-the-average-bear, Bilko rip-off Yogi Bear - in the guise of a 60s inflatable Bop Bag. Who'd what to bop good old Yogi though? Not me.

A face only a mother could love.

And here's Yogi's rapidly deflating rear-end. Made in Scotland - a long way from Jellystone Park.

And just incase you start to feel sorry for Mrs Poptique, having to put up with such dreadful items dotted around her abode, then have a gander at the rather nice fencing French fillies I picked up to appease her...

Not a bad haul at all, if I do say so myself...

Jiminy Crackhead

2011-04-03T09:36:00.000-07:00

Rising up over the skyline once dominated by the near-mythical Crystal Palace this weekend was a sight best described as mildly terrifying...

The fearsome fixture in question - a fibreglass facsimile of loveable Disney advise-dispenser Jiminy Cricket with his finger held aloft, perhaps indicating an all-powerful wrath from above that will soon befall us...

At some point it's recent history someone has seen fit to give him a Gok Wang style make over - changing hs friendly visage to that of a crack-addled Joker wannabe rising up from the flames of hell itself, complete with green hair and a razor-blade smile...

A charming, albeit only temporary, landmark I'm sure you'll all agree - plus a mind-boggling transformation that takes me back to the woeful Whippywatches of yesteryear...

Nothing Is Impossible - Zakhmee (1975)

2011-02-16T11:35:00.001-08:00

Screeching, feedbacking guitars? Check. Shexy Go-Go chicks? Check. Deep-voiced sun-shaded dudes sporting magnificent moustaches? You best believe it to be so.

A sort of Bollywood interpretation of Z-man's freak-out happening from Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, what "Nothing Is Impossible", from 1975's Zakhmee, ain't got I don't want.

Zakhmee was an ass-whupping starring role for actor, director, future member of Parliament and the generally very decent Sunil Dutt, plus provided a break-through role for 70s sex-pot Reena Roy - a glamour girl who'd been going down a storm in a few steamy films previous to this madcap tale of the unjustly accused and incarcerated Dutt wreaking revenge on his bastard betrayers. Roy plays the headstrong, hotrod-straddling daughter of a judge who holds the key to Dutt's rehabilitation, and hit another high point the following year, with an award nominated headline performance in Snake & Revenge epic Nagin.

(a better quality version of the same number is six minutes into here, but you might have to sit through some awful advert to get to it...)

Back to Zahkmee, which features jaw-dropping 70s duds, astoundingly funky lounge-lizard pads, eye-bleeding back-projected chases and even squeezes in a festive sing along, before sliding into a dreamy melody courtesy of Bappi Lahiri, with playback from the legendary Lata Mangeshkar.

So, certainly a film with something for everyone, including a some very respectable fisticuffs and fair serving of sleaze, with a particularly kinky sequence featuring everyone's favourite vamp, the ever-loving Helen playing the proverbial gangsters moll, getting a bit fruity with a switchblade and a rabid crowd of ruffians egging her on...

Zakhmee can be bagged from a variety of sources - including VCDs and DVDs from Eros and Shemaroo - although the latter slaps a logo over image; the scoundrels!

Tis' the Season to Flog Shield Slingers.

2011-02-07T05:26:00.001-08:00

That knocking sound outside your window isn't the winter wind a'howling. It's the constant thud generated by Hollywood already slapping the average man in the street around the chops with their upcoming content...

Barely into 2011, and you can't help but be bombarded with budget-bloated blockbusters, and this year we're facing another onslaught Comic Book heroes as Marvel Studios continues pumping it's heavy hitters out like so much sausage meat into the gullets of multiplexes around globe.

We'll soon be witness to a brand spanking new version of that shield slinging embodiment of Red, White & Blue - Captain America, not to mention some serious hammer tossing from the Mighty Thor, both prepping up for the merry Marvel melee that next year's Avengers promises to be.

The first blow of an almighty media blitz hit during the annual four hour onslaught of sports and salesmanship that is the Super Bowl - where advertisers traditionally clamber all over each other in an overwhelming effort to pick the pockets of around a 100 million captive coach potatoes.

Much speculation has already taken place as to how Cap will play in these days of somewhat ambiguous American feelings world wide, so it's certainly a wise move to kick start his cinematic adventures back where he truly belongs - in the dark days of WW2 when everyone except Hitler & Hirohito thought the Yanks were a decent bunch of fellows.

Created in 1941 by two titans of the funny-papers - Jack Kirby and Joe Simon - Captain America was an early addition to, and without doubt the most popular of, the flag-waving Axis slapper-downers that populated comics during the war years, such as the Shield and The Fighting Yank.

Frankly, if you wanted to shift a comic book to wartime kids, not to mention their big brothers, dads or uncles who were in the thick of it, what better method than splashing a patriotic super hero kicking a Kraut in the pants on your cover?

Far from 2011 being his big-screen bow, Captain America has been living it up in live-action since 1944, making him one of Marvel's most frequent flyers on the big and little screen. Since you clearly have nothing better to do, let's take a whistle-stop tour of ol' Winghead's motion picture highs and lows.

I'll be honest - mostly lows...

Captain America - 1944. Released by Republic Pictures.

Two-fisted comic-book adaptions were pretty big business for the cliffhanger crowd back in the 40s, especially since a great number of heroes held onto the genre's pulpy roots and spent the majority of their time simply thumping felons instead of zipping through the stratosphere via costly special effects.

Cap was the only character owned by Marvel Comics (then publishing as Timely) deemed boffo enough to front a film, although he didn't make it with his shield or secret identity intact. Due to the radical changes Republic made to the character, it's always been suggested he wasn't their first choice. Supposedly the script was prepared for another Kirby creation - Mr Scarlet - whose secret identity as a crusading district attorney matched the switcheroo given to Steve Rogers - Cap's off-duty Army Private alias.

Mr Scarlet was published by Fawcett comics, from whom Republic had already adapted Captain Marvel and The Spy Smasher, but by the time the serial was ready to roll the little-known crimson crime-fighter had already been designated dustbin status, requiring a scramble for a more substantial super-hero lead.

I'll be honest and say that despite having had copy of the serial for yonks I've never seen it - a fact that's unlikely to change despite the villainous presence of on-the-skids Horror stalwart Lionel Atwill, whose career as an A-grade thesp had rapidly headed towards the Z-grade dumper after hosting one too many drug-fueled orgies round his gaff.

The problem with serials : they come from a very different age of movie going, designed almost specifically for kids to aim popcorn at whilst awaiting another weekly punch up - no doubt onscreen and off. Despite being highly regarded as one of the very best of it's type, the idea of committing myself to 15 chapters of repetitive square-jawed daring-do fills me with inertia.

Sad to say, the strain of whole enterprise seemed to take it's toll on poor old dual-role playing Dick Purcell. After slogging away during the 1930s in a succession of thankless supporting rolls he nabbed the rough and tumble role of both Captain America and his on-screen alter ego Grant Gardener, but a few weeks after the series wrapped keeled over with a fatal heart attack.

Once the war was over comic book heroes took a noticeable dive. Perhaps many of them too heavily resonated back to the war, which the audience understandably wanted to leave behind. Although a handful survived to tell the tale, Cap was relegated to the history books, apart from a blink-and-you'll-miss-it revival in the 1950s for a soiree as an official "Commie Smasher".

Marvel Super Heroes - 1966. Grantray-Lawrence Animation.

In the early 60s Marvel Comics looked close to kicking the proverbial, until it snapped by into the Super-Hero game, and super-success via the publication of the Fantastic Four in 1963. It wasn't long before editor Stan Lee pulled the Star-Spangled soon-to-be Avenger out of mothballs and straight into the Marvel Age, courtesy once again of his co-creator, Jack Kirby.

By the second half of the decade the company had enough clout once again to offer up their characters to the wider media world, this time to the content craving Saturday morning TV crowd. The very definition of "limited animation", the 1966 Marvel Super Hero show starred five of Marvel's heroes - each served up on a different day of the week, with a direct adaption of their comic book crusades sliced into three segments.

Much derided for their overwhelming cheapness, I've always had an affection for these somewhat decrepit creations, primarily due to the bombastic voice work which deftly adapted Lee's hyperbolic prose, the recycled artwork ripped direct from the comic books themselves and, naturally, a love of things slightly crappy.

Cap's adventures were lifted directly from the pages of The Avengers, and his Tales of Suspense solo-series, allowing us fun-packed access to freshly made WW2 adventures against the likes of the Red Skull, his Sleepers, the decidedly daft Batroc the Leaper and the bag-faced Baron Zemo. By nabbing Lee's dialog wholesale, along with the work of Kirby and the other Marvel artists of the era, the show transcends the limited ambitions of the production to make them - for me - some of the best translations of general atmosphere and energy of Marvel's Silver Age.

As a kid I couldn't get enough of these cheap-jack capers from my local video rental shelves, after Guild Home Video bundled out a bunch back in the early 80s, and quite literally shat myself when they started showing them early on Saturdays mornings around the same time.

Captain America - 1979 CBS Television.

By the 70s rolled it seemed that super-heroes here back to stay, even after weathering the Batman boom that seemed sure to scuttle the industry when it quickly fizzled out. After the dust settled, Hollywood was eager for another bite at the comic-book cherry, so during feminism's first flower DC's Wonder Woman burst onto television screens, followed by Marvel's Spider-man and the Hulk.

Things seemed to be ticking along nicely, especially after the blockbusting Superman movie was released in 1978, so CBS were willing to give Cap another crack at the whip with a couple of TV movies designed to spark off a possible series. As was to become a pattern for the next decade, epic comic books didn't translate particularly well to the restrictions of a TV movie budget, and the sight of someone running around in gaudy Stars & Stripes emblazoned Spandex wasn't the most awe inspiring of spectacles.

In his initial TV debut Cap was once again without much of his comic book background, and didn't even don his official costume until the film's final minutes, preferring a funky striped day-glo body suit with matching go-go boots.

The sequel - Captain America II - Death Too Soon - was dead on arrival, with even the great Christopher Lee helpless in bringing it to life.

Once the 80s began booming the unabashed patriotism of Captain America was starting to look a little bit too silly for most film producers to touch with a barge pole, even in a jingoistic era of Stallone and Schwarzenegger, and the increasing campiness of the Superman movies killed of the comic-book genre on the big screen for awhile...

Captain America - 1990
21st Century Films
Just as talk of the Superman series in the 70s kicked off a collection of copycats, the impending release of Tim Burton's Batman sparked off another bombardment - curiously nearly all of them similarly tinged with a 1930s/40s feel. The Phantom, The Shadow, The Rocketeer and too a lesser extent, original characters such as Sam Raimi's Darkman, all seemed to share Batman's pulpy roots - perhaps in a similar way to the cliffhanger days, these characters lack of difficult-to-replicate super-powers lent themselves to tidier budgets in the tentative early days of CGI. The characters also had the virtue of already being tied up long held development deals at studios, since the days of Christopher Reeve's debut.

Marvel may have matched - and exceeded - DC in terms of comic book sales, but when it came to big-screen adaptions they were still second-stringers. A fresh take on Captain America from the inauspicious 21st Century Film Corporation, advertised for release in the summer of 1990, was conspicuous by it's absence. 21st Century had been attempting to make good on deals with Marvel properties for a few years, including a mooted Spider-man movie, headed as they were by infamous, bandwagon-jumping schlock-producer Menahem Golan. Via his Cannon Films, Golan had previously dredged up the floptastic Superman VI - Quest for Peace, almost single-handedly killing off the super-hero movie until Batman reared his pointy head.

21st Century's Captain America eventually crawled out into DTV hell, a fate wholeheartedly deserved by a wretchedly unfocused production. Ultimately childish, but with a few scenes of random violence thrown in for fun, it began in a relatively acceptable WW2 setting, complete with the Red Skull, before literally rocketing the hero into the 90s for typical fish-out-of-water high jinks.

Try as he might, beefy-Botham likable lead Matt Salinger can't help but look a muscle-bound douche in a rubber Cap suit, and it's hard to believe the film was created with a cinema release in mind. Reeking of cheapskate compromise it finds a suitable bedfellow in Roger Corman's ropey unreleased Fantastic Four movie, produced simply to hold keep the producer's tight on the rights.

What seems amazing looking back at the various interpretations of Captain America over the last 60 odd years is how small the scope of nearly all super-hero movies have been until now. Often created with what seems to be complete contempt for for both their source material and audience, shoved into the cycle of bandwagon-jumping, knocked out kiddie-fare it seems difficult to parallel these films with the fortunes fed into the current crop of Comic-book adaptions.

The level of respect shown to adaptions of Comic Books seems to be in direct correlation afforded the medium itself. As far as the mainstream is concerned, comics are still about Super-Heroics on the whole, but considering they're finally become a film genre in itself, it can only open up the industry to new readers, new talent and new ideas.

Moreover, there's a reason why many characters like Cap have stood the test of time, surviving substandard service time and time again. Considering Hollywood isn't going to stop spewing out blockbusters anytime soon, it's a good thing these days we're getting them from producers who seem to respect their origins and are willing to sprinkle a little a bit of the magic creators like Lee & Kirby gave to generations of childhoods.

Even Cap drinks to that.

Green Hornies

2011-01-14T07:07:00.001-08:00

Don't say I didn't warn you, but the Seth Rogan, Michael Gondry and Stephen Chow-less Green Hornet movie is out this week. I saw a great 3D preview at the San Diego Comic Con back in July last year, but the buzz around the release hasn't exactly been superb since...

If you decide to give it a miss, what better way to enjoy a no doubt wet weekend, but with possibly the most obscure, (and conceivably the most enjoyable) big-screen incarnation of the Green Hornet ever committed to celluloid!

This is a film that thoroughly thumbs it's nose in the direction of coherency, and laughs in the face of logic - shooting off in a different direction whenever it's fancy is taken.

Another lead-role the ever-loving Bruce Li (possibly my second favourite of all the Bruceploitation Leealikes) it's starts off with it's star in Kato mode, before sticking him in street garb for the majority of the movie. With sidekick in tow, he's out to fight for the rights of a young hottie and her kidnapped father - along the way facing the Asian Charles Bronson and his two African assistants, all of whom have been hired by the underlings of some ginger Euro-trashed übervillian.

Just as Brucie finally bashes "Superman" to a pulp, in a particularly brutal confrontation, he remembers he's still got the Chris Evans lookalike to perform a beatdown on. Via a jump cut Jean Luc Godard would have been proud of, he suddenly changes into bright read long johns, taking to the skies and becoming "The Green Hornet" himself. Perhaps the Kato costume had already been returned to the rental shop by this point and no-one had a green overcoat handy...

If all of this makes little or know sense and shows a distinct disregard for the source material, one must put themselves in the position of the potential audience for this film - for whom accuracy meant nothing as long as there was a fight every fifteen minutes.

A beautifully badly dubbed jaw-dropper - ages ago we selected it as a pilot for a mash-up project entitled They Call Him Bruce, where each week a different Bruceploitation epic would be cut down, chopped up and spewed out as a half-hour phantasmagoria of re-animated exploitation goodness.

The fact that particular format hasn't bothered you late on a Friday night should be a good indication of the success of the show...

Happy New Year!

2011-01-10T05:21:00.001-08:00

Better late than never....

What a way to ring in 2011 - courtesy of Ogden Whitney, artist of the legendary Herbie Popnecker, the one and only Fat Fury!

Five Glorious Greenbriar Years

2010-12-27T13:09:00.001-08:00

Simply one of the very, very best sites on classic Hollywood, John Mcelwee's Greenbriar Picture Show, has hit it's fifth anniversary this month!

An absolute treasure trove of information on the glory days of American motion pictures - a week does not go by without me paying a visit.

Rather than me gab on about it any further, might I suggest dropping by and watching your day drift away via post after post of astounding illumination of a cinematic era long gone!!

Whoopee - White Christmas.

2010-12-24T13:46:00.000-08:00

Check it out - tomorrow we're going to have the first genuine white Christmas in who-knows-how-many-flippin years, so whilst my wine is mulled and my fire sided, may I wish one and all a suitably seasonal greeting and a very Merry Christmas!

If this is good enough for Mark Evanier then it's good enough for me.

Nice little vid there, so bully for, and a holiday holler towards animator Joshua Held who utilised a lovely rendition of the perennial festive favourite from Clyde McPhatter - a founder member of the Drifters, no less.

And, what Christmas Eve is complete without...

Certainly not mine. Whatever you're doing tomorrow, have a lovely one.

All the best from Poptique!

Red & Struggie go Nagasaki

2010-11-16T09:16:00.000-08:00

This came up in conversation today, as it quite rightly should...

Nagasaki was knocked out by Tin Pan Alley stalwarts Harry Warren and Mort Dixon in 1928, quickly getting covered by all and sundry, perhaps due to it's ambiguous lyrical content and jaunty melody that could easily be riffed upon.

Here's the Mills Brother's doing just that, nearly ten years after the songs debut, and three years after Red & Struggie (the above artistes) performed what, for me, is far and away the definitive film version. (It can be found, in glorious condition, on the DVD for 1934's Dames)

Harry Warren remains a name to conjure with, having penned songs familiar to any film fanatic through their debut in the great pre-code Busby Berkeley extravaganzas from Warners, and subsequent, constant exposure in Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies for the next 25 odd years. "We're In the Money", Lullaby of Broadway", "42nd Street", "I Only Have Eyes For You", not to mention "Jeepers Creepers", "You Must Have Been a Beautiful Baby" and the "Chattanooga" chuffin' "Choo Choo". Mort Dixon's contributions might have been a little less illustrious, but he also wrote "Bye Bye Blackbird", so he probably did a lot better than you.

But what of powerhouse performers Red & Struggie themselves? They were a 1930s nightclub act and, apart from a return appearance in the 1936 Vitaphone reel Red Nichols & His World Famous Five Pennies, that's pretty much all I can tell you about them.

Sadly, Nagasaki itself was later the location the second atomic bomb was duly dropped by the US, effectively ending World War II, which I'm sure you'll agree is a pretty depressing way to end what was supposed to be a lighthearted blog entry.

Sorry.

BRUCIE BIOPICs

2010-10-20T02:17:00.001-07:00

I love a spot of Bruceploitation, me - which should be evident by my having based a whole episode of Cult45 on the subject.

The idea of a cinematic genre entirely spun off one who is spinning in his grave is unwholesome enough, but add to it the unfathomable extremes the films ended up going to and you have a recipe from exploitation heaven.

Indeed, what schlock fiend could fail to be fascinated by the twisted imagination that pits Bruce Le against a field full of creosoted midgets in Bruce and the Shaolin Bronzemen, or the fevered thinking that cast Harold "Oddjob" Sakata in Ninja Strikes Back, thereby trumping his iconic performance in Goldfinger by giving him a gold hand? Well, the fly by night glory days of knocked-up trashy treasures like that are long behind us, but the image of Bruce Lee still remains.

Well, looky here, we are soon to behold another addition to the Doppelganger Dragon sub-genre that interests me least - the Brucie Biopic.

Thankfully though, Bruce Lee, My Brother does look pretty intriguing - firstly as it's produced and written by Bruce's own brethren - lil'bro Robert Lee - and secondly as this film's Leealike, Aarif Li, actually looks and acts more like the man himself than pretty much any of his predecessors.

Here's a sneak peek flagged by the attentive peeps at Twitch :

But if you're impatient type, how can you satisfy your lust for a movie version of Lee's legendary life story?

Well luckily for you I've taken the trouble to point you in the right direction...

After giving Brucie a bum ride back in the 60s, Hollywood gave Lee the ultimate accolade in 1993, with Dragon - The Bruce Lee Story, a big budget biopic which starred the eminently likable, but not really lookalike-able Jason Scott Lee.

A thoroughly airbrushed affair, it does have the benefit of a jolly-good epic score and an armoured demon Brucie battles every time he gets a headache.

My favourite of all the Leealikes is the wild-eyed, ear-piercing, ever-versatile Bruce Le, who directed and starred in his own Bruice Biopic - 1980's Bruce, King of Kung fu.

It's also available under the title of Young Bruce Lee, Legend of Bruce Lee and Revenge of the Dragon, for those that like variety. BKKF gets brownie points for a spectacular shooting star effect scratched straight onto the original negative, copious amounts of Jackie Chan style Snake Fist Kung-Fu that Bruce never touched with a barge poll, and finally the above appearance of repeat Leealike offender Bolo Yeung. Frankly, I wouldn't consider something a genuine Bruceploitation epic if the muscle-bound Bolo didn't pop up at least once to bust some Dragon derriere!

Bruce Le's main rival in the Leealike stakes, and perhaps the popular choice, headlined a handful of bios, with The Man, The Myth reaching the widest audience. "All New, All True" ballyhooed the trailer, but it's doubtful that the real Lee plugged himself into an archaic version of the Wii Fit in order to obtain the heights of physical perfection his supposedly reached.

Perhaps, "Same Old, Shit-fest" might have been more appropriate...

Bruce Li's first foray into the murky world of Bruceploitation was another true-life story of the man-himself - the flimsily fabricated Bruce Lee, A Dragon Story from 1974. I'm pretty sure I've never seen it, so feel free to move along...

Finally we find ourselves at a film that takes a dump on the great man's legacy from a great height, and then dwells upon the resulting mess for 90 minutes...

Bruce Lee never worked for Hong Kong's very own MGM-style super-studio, Shaw Brothers, as he wasn't willing to whack people in widescreen for the minimum wage and little creative input they were offering. It's hard not to see Bruce Lee & I (aka His Last Days, His Last Nights), as a supremely sleazy act of revenge. For a start, it co-stars the starlet whose flat Lee died in - a Miss Betty Ting Pei - and blatantly alleges an adulterous infidelity between them (which may or may not have taken place. Frankly, I don't wish to be involved in all that!). It's star, Danny Lee, would later find fame working with John Woo, but he's a ropey replacement for the deceased Dragon.

With sub-standard chop-sockey and manky rumpy-pumpy, it's definitely the least of a pretty poor lot. Fingers crossed that Bruce Lee, My Brother bucks the trend and turns out to be rather decent, but in the meantime, three cheers for the so bad they're actually just bad Brucie Biopics!

ANIMAL-FACED, DESCRIPTION DEFYING DANCE

2010-10-13T09:08:00.000-07:00

So, here was I preparing material for a nice little fact-filled amble through a favourite performer's filmic career when I came across a clip I hadn't seen for quite sometime. Frankly, I thought if you hadn't born witness to it as yet, now would be as good a time as any...

The clip came courtesy of 1000loops, and is from the 1985 Tollywood timewaster Advai Donga. Starring popular Telugu action and comedy legend Chiranjeevi, it's another is a long, long line of Asian Jungle Hero epics that I must get around to writing about at some point.

If you enjoyed the above display of rubber-faced frivolity you're sure to go snooker-loopy over the following cross-genre phantasmagoria also from the film...

RETURN OF J-POP FRIDAY - PIXEL POP!

2010-10-01T08:49:00.001-07:00

I've found myself unfortunately mired in deadlines over the past two weeks, which has sizeably restricted my ability to do shiz I'd much rather occupy my precious time with.

Rather wisely though, given a creative carte blanche in regards to one project I'm working on I've plumped for a favourite concept - vintage video gaming.

It's soon reached a point, however, where I can only regard the world via a limited colour chart and a tinny synthesised sound system. So, clearly, the very best thing to listen to on a busy-bee 8-bit J-Pop Friday are the perfectly pixelated pop-stars from the Land of the Rising sun, YMCK.

Credit where credit is due, I first heard about the fantastic threesome via PingMag, but since then they have a new album just unleashed in Europe (but not in the UK, by the looks of things), their own 8bit audio generator software and a nifty wee iPhone app I must remember to nab next time I plug the thing in.

So that's all lovely. Back to work, I'm afraid to say...

GRITTY

2010-09-28T10:08:00.000-07:00

Whoopee, hoorah and all that shiz - Tron's a-coming this Crimbo; but look what else the Dude himself has instore for us this festive season...

ATTACK OF THE J-POP FRIDAY - BOOTED BABE, BUSTED BOSS!

2010-09-17T08:49:00.000-07:00

Shut your mama-jammering, it's J-Pop Friday here at Poptique...

Who be that? Where it from? Hold your horses and all will be revealed...

First off, the lady in question is Tomomi Sawa, a baby-faced beauty and ex-model who carved out a career as an actress and pop-singer during the closing gasps of the swinging 60's and the bright early days of the slushy 70s.

According to IMDB she only had one movie credit - 1968's 100 Shot, 100 Killed - Goldeneyes - from whence the above clip hailed. More of that later, although some rummaging around has uncovered a few more appearances from today's womanly warbler - notably (and courtesy of Google translator) Receipt High School Outlaw (1972), Market Women to Launch a Night (1969) and the evergreen classic Horse Comic One-Shot Winning Strategy (1968). Whether these are movies, TV shows or just someones idea of a good time is entirely open to question - and if there are better translations of the titles out there I don't wish to know them.

I'm certain a good time would be had by all once I've tracked Goldeneyes down, but save for an unsubtitled (boo!) Japanese DVD which retails the wrong side of £50, it's a tricky title to nab.

100 Shot 100 Killed, Goldeneyes was one of many Bondalikes from the height of the Connery-era 007, this one from top Japanese studio Toho.

Almost inexplicably it received the dodgy dub treatment for a Western release as the brilliantly titled Ironfinger, Booted Babe Busted Boss - but whether it actually made it all the way to the UK circuit is unlikely.

You've gotta admit, that looks like a lot of fun, with pistol-packing perky fems complete with squeaky chipmunk voices, imminent danger from deadly hairdressers and stacks of gun-totting rough and tumble action, despite an apparent lack of booted babes or indeed busted bosses. It's actually a sequel to an earlier Toho action epic - 100 Shot, 100 Killed / Ironfinger - which featured the luverly Mie Hama the year before she co-starred with Sean in You Only Live Twice. So there.

Both films were directed by ever-faithful Jun Fukuda, who also gave us a whole slew of Godzilla movies - including Vs Mechagodzilla - not to mention some episodes the Monkey TV show.

The original 100 Shot 100 Killed received an English overdub too (perhaps in part due to Hama's pre-Bond presence?), but so far has only turned up that way on - of all places - an out-of-print Indian VCD with the print so washed out and faded to red that everyone looked embarrassed by their involvement.

It's well worth tracking down, with a funky score and a fast pace that puts it amoung the best of the Nipponese Bondalikes, with leading man Akira Takarada sporting a devil-may-care attitude whether lumping a bad guy or loving a lady, plus a Hoxton-esque pork-pie hat...

For a wee bit more Tomoni Sawa, click here to hear her go all beach-front Scott Walker, and here for "I Am a Seagull", the type of song you can envision being played as a boss ambles off into the sunset after being well and truly busted....

SEX POT POPULAR DEMAND

2010-09-03T04:10:00.000-07:00

As previously discussed way back when, and returning due to popular demand, here's some dyed-in-the-wool Bollywood insanity with the flamin' hot Zeenat Aman busting moves blind. Since the clip originally posted has been long since yanked off Youtube I thought it deserved a revisit, and thankfully another happy-go-lucky uploader - the bombastic Bollytunes - has stuck up their own copy.

No doubt the inclusion of it here will only add to the chances of it being booted once again, so apologies in advance...

Since I've refrained from posting any mind-blowing Bollypop for quite a while may I humbly attempt amends by throwing forth perhaps my favourite number from most definitely one of my favourite Masala Mash-ups - 1972's flippin' fantastic Apna Desh.

And of course, you know by now - the title may change but the credits are invariably the same: dynamite husband & wife duo Asha Bhosle and RD Burman, clearly the most rip-roaring of all musical couplings, once again did duties on playback.

Frankly, you'll probably need a nice cup of tea and a sit down after the combined force of those two.

CLiNT BURGERS

2010-09-02T11:40:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I impress myself with uncharacteristic bad timing and all too typical buffoonery. One of the things I planned to do this year at Comic Con was button-hole Jonathan Ross to ask him about his Prohibition-set Vampire-fest Turf, but I over-booked and dropped the ball on the whole sorry scenario.

Once again fates have converged to make me end up feeling like the prize bumpkin, as I merrily bundled along to the launch of the brand-spanking new Comic Book anthology CLiNT to nab a quick chat. CLiNT has been carefully constructed by none-other than Mark Millar, and features Ross' debut strip in it's first UK outing. Once there I got a call from my cameraman, who'd overrun on a prior engagement, and I was on my lonesome.

So mortified by another fumble I failed even to get a lovely snap to enshrine the Kodak moment meeting Messrs Millar & Ross. Hopefully, after making an offer surely anyone would refuse, I might be able to wangle a brief chinwag soon - but let's not be holding our collective breaths.

Did at least get me Comic Book signed...

But what of CLiNT itself, as opposed to my regretful ramblings?

Waiting in line I had ample opportunity to glance through the pages, and then downright devour them. At first flick it looked a little bit too close to a Comic with some pages from a lads mag meets film rag slipped in - with a feature on Hot TV Mums a particularly out of place filler. I'm not one to dispute the obvious allure of a few yummy mummys, but it's still a confusing thing to find plopped there.

Once one gets down to the strips there's no denying it grips the reader like a right bastard. I haven't been so captivated by a new British Comic for a long old time. Fair enough, much of the content has been available elsewhere, and if you're not a fan of Millar's potty-mouthed prose it's doubtful that you'll convert. However, the whole enterprise whisks up fondly recalled thoughts of anthology comics from days of yore - such as the Mighty World of Marvel & The Super Heroes. Kick Ass 2 is shaping up nicely and Turf is bloomin marvellous - enough to make me cheat on a mag that is still warm and pursue the next chapter elsewhere...

Make no mistake - despite many a US setting this most definitely feels like a Great British Comic Book, and one that recalls the glory days of 2000AD and it's noble 90s spin-offs like Crisis and Deadline. No other country seems to embrace anthology titles like us lot, and for taking me back to the time when - for awhile - grown up comic books flooded the shelves of the local WH Smiths it deserves a hefty chunk of recognition.

If CLiNT sorts out their seemingly superfluous articles and attracts new talent to continue to punch at this level, this could well be the beginning of something rather splendid. I was enjoying the bugger so much that when I got to the front of the queue I nearly forgot what I was queuing for in the first place - which takes me back to basic-buffoonery once again...

SCOTTOPOLIS

2010-08-27T02:19:00.001-07:00

Ah, Scott Pilgrim - it's been a long time coming, but I'm mighty glad it did...

Missed at least two screenings at Comic Con as I was stuck in the main hall each time, press screenings back here in the UK and even turned up late to for the press line at the fookin' premiere with a nasty case of flu...

However, I finally got to see Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World, followed up with the first screening of the "restored" Metropolis in the UK - and what a flipping fantastic double header they made!

Just how fine I'll tell you once I've cleared my work commitments and written the bloody article....

EXPENDABUBBLES

2010-08-05T14:58:00.000-07:00

Over in Tinsel-town everyone is going snooker-loopy for the 80s, not just in terms of output but also when it comes to promotion! When I noticed the peeps behind fist-flying throwback The Expendables had knocked up a Contra-style shoot'em up to promote their Regan-era rip-roarer I just had to give it a wee play...

Thing is, in order to play the game I had to go through the rigmarole of signing into Facebook and letting the world know I 'like' The Expendables - and that gave me serious pause for thought. Certainly I'd sat through a screening earlier this week, whooping and wincing with everyone else, but had I genuinely 'liked' Sly's love-letter to explosive 80s exploitation?

Well, the game itself proved to be pretty much the same as the movie from whence it spawned - delightful in intent but a bit disappointing in execution. (Sly gets seven shades of shit kicked out of him in the movie, and keeps on trucking. One teensy bullet downs his 8bit counterpart - boo!)

The Expendables seems like a wet-dream for those who spent the 80s slack-jawed in front of Commando, Cobra and Kickboxer, but despite a healthy amount of bad taste beat downs and more big bangs than the birth of the universe, The Expendables ends up doing everything an action fan could want, but not a massive amount more. In fact, aside from the rough and tumble being lensed in a more modern fashion this is a film that would seem right at home on a big box VHS tape - and I'm not saying that's necessarily a bad thing...

The cast are all good value and look like they're having a ball, but their characterisations don't extend much beyond a some nicely executed speeches, well aimed punches and simple recognition from stacking video store shelves for 30 plus years. Mickey Rourke spins magic around bright-white highlights and an elongated pipe, but when hasn't he stolen a film recently by just turning up?

Dolph Lundgren proves to be an immensely likable presence, Eric Roberts chews the scenery like it's last orders at Hooters and David Zayas does well to illicit sympathy as a dodgy Dictator in the middle of a right pickle.

80s action movies weren't the best place to be if one were a lass, and the fairer sex doesn't fair much better in The Expendables than they did when Maggie Thatcher was tramping round Downing Street. Once obligatory flashes of naughty bits may have been left on the cutting room floor, but Giselle Itié and Charisma Carpenter are still just window dressing to be loved, lumped and liberated - not necessarily in that order. Ah well, this is a film concerned with grunts, not... ahem, the feminine mystique.

The Arnie and Brucie cameos are fun, but rendered virtually superfluous due to their inclusion almost in entirity in the pre-release trailers and surprisingly the main Expendable who reverberates least is Sly himself despite shouldering the lion's share of the picture alongside Jason Statham. Suitably spectacular set pieces come and go, but seem like stand alone sequences rather than part of a larger thread.

Frankly, all is forgiven when the film flips into it's third act and true carnage commences. From there on in it's a barrage of the finest head-kicking-in this side of Tony Jaa, with so much ludicrous bloodletting it almost makes the rest of the movie seem like it was roper-doping. Maybe Sly was just biding his time until the double-barrelled, bare knuckle climax.

I'm genuinely not sure if Stallone was aiming for the testosterone epic to end them all, or just an affectionate re-tread of the non-CGI action days of yore. If it was the latter then his big ol'hunting knife has pretty much hit the bullseye, especially as what CGI there is seems a bit DTV-y.

If you're a man - a real man - and can make it through an hour or so of fairly pedestrian stuff, there's a literally neck-breaking spectacle to behold once Stallone lets rip with the bullets, the bangs and the punch-bagging.

It's no Wild Bunch for steroid-packed stars of our youth, no deep examination of what drives such extreme badassery, and no celebration or subversion of a style of film-making now entrenched in earlier times - but, than again, why should it be? What perhaps should be celebrated is that a one-of-a-kind star of modern cinema is still churning out engaging action movies 30 odd years after he booted his first butt.

POPTIQUE SHOWREEL

2010-07-22T08:01:00.000-07:00

How do - I'm far away a particularly interesting location, surrouded by several hundred thousand overly-excited people carry massive swag bags.

More on that to follow, but for the time being, here's my latest reel. Lucky you!

GET HIM TO THE GREEK ANIMATED PROMO

2010-07-13T11:18:00.000-07:00

In this day & age of sweaty-palmed viral marketing it's refreshing to see a distributor resolutely refuse to jump onto the bacterium buildup band-wagon.

Whilst Universal Pictures may have been happy to fork out the funds for a great little animated Get Him to The Greek promo, they also seem tickled-pink to allow it to evaporate into the ether as if the thing had never even existed...

Hard to believe that the talented folk at Titmouse labored away under director Mike Moloney for two weeks to knock out that lovely bit of flash, and after a couple of showings on Adult Swim the only way to see it is via some foul footage filmed off a tv like a crappy 50s Kinescope.

Cartoon Brew featured the above clip over a month ago and since then, apart from being spotted in superior quality at Cold Hard Flash, that's the extent of it's web presence. For shame - I'm surprised ol'Carl Laemmle hasn't climbed out of his crypt to give them a diminutive kick in the ass.

Incidentally, a few of us ambled down to the local Odeon last night to see the film itself, and can report that despite a frankly flimsy plot that's as rambling as Brand's rock-star alterego, it's a bit of a giggle with enough charm from all concerned amoung the grossodemy to make it successful Superbad meets Plane Trains & Automobiles style funbags.

Fluffy McCloud

2010-06-24T03:18:00.000-07:00

What a month June is turning out to be time-wise - turning to smoke in front of my very eyes, as clients nab coals from me fire, deadlines near their sell-by-date, and projects gestate in the corner like a discarded posh-burger.

Perhaps I'm also concerned why summer has so far lacked a decent bibby-Q...

Thankfully there's always some new talented individual ready to paste a grin on a hitherto grumpy face, and inspire one to get the head down and plow on.

FLUFFY MC CLOUD is conorfinnegan's lovely little grad film from IADT, the National Film School in Ireland. According to good ol'Cartoon Brew - he shot the film in his attic.

Wish I had an attic.

Sssssssh - Secret Cinema

2010-06-17T00:41:00.001-07:00

The suited and booted daytime denizens of London's Canary Wharf, normally content on a balmy summer's evening to down pints of champagne whilst wafting each other with wads of £100 notes, must have wondered this week why a futuristic circus of gaudily garbed plebs had decided to descend upon their gleaming playground...

Unbeknownst to the bankers, Secret Cinema had hit town - creating a hush-hush hysteria with another of their amazing all-encompassing shows. Leaving a trail of clues across Facebook, Twitter and other such sites as to this months mystery film, Secret Cinema actively encourage the brave and the curious to dress up like total tools without fear of scorn or recourse.

Brollies and goggles were de rigueur for this outing - which was a bit of a giveaway in itself - but with more than enough red-herrings dropped, punters were left tossing between Blade Runner and the Fifth Element as the film of choice. Savvy chaps the SC lot are, they made us all think we were most likely about to witness Luc Besson's disappointing day-glo fantasy before a genuine Blade Runner commandeered our transporter (well, bus) and began interrogating likely suspects.

Once arrived at our secret location the effort put into fully immersing joe public into the world of Blade Runner was a sight to behold - an analog future from the film itself realised in 3 dimensions - and without the use of cardboard glasses, no less!

Food stalls, reptiles, avenues and alleyways straight out of the cinema, populated with cast members wandering about - all doing their best to recreate all your favourite moments from the Ridley Scott's dystopian down-beater.

Peeps could even take part in their very own Voight-Kampff test, to find out if they were replicants themselves - unsuccessful candidates presumably swiftly gunned down afterwards for their trouble...

The film itself could only be a mild-let down after all the hoopla surrounding it - especially in a drafty warehouse auditorium, but we did get the added bonus of sitting next to a completely motionless Pris lookalike, who pegged it like the clappers when a Blade Runner came to investigate just before the film rolled.

If I'm being particularly harsh it almost seemed like the picture became an after-thought to the overall package and personally speaking, I would have preferred a bunch of trails for similar pics ahead of it, rather than a Bjork vid and some video game commercials. Perhaps I'd have been more charitable had I not shelled out for the blu-ray a few weeks previous...

Nonetheless, this was an absolutely stellar event and you'd have to be a pretty hard-hearted film lover not to walk away impressed with the show-stopping production values surrounding you. Best of all, with a location like the deserted sky-scrapers of Canary Wharf to amble through once the film was over, we really did stroll home thinking we could well be in the movie itself...

Viral Tron-foolery

2010-02-24T15:01:00.001-08:00

Viral marketing is surely the way forward. Within a few years it'll be unthinkable for any company to stump up their hard earned advertising moolah for a traditional TV spot, since their 30-seconds of focus-grouped footage will be merrily skipped pass by any potential punters vegetating in front of their futuristic 3D goggleboxes.

Better to stick you money on the web, where you can't escape the ads even if you want to. Superior still is Viral marketing, where you don't even need to do the hard work yourself, just make the promotion and let the punters do the pushing!

Pretty soon you'll be sneezing the latest Batman trailer into the face of a fellow commuter, who'll proceed to snot it all over their work colleagues via their infected snoz-holes. Within days everyone will be taking sick days due to Bat-flu and Dark-Knightus, the only cure being a session in front of the film itself. Bingo for the box offices!

Later this year (December to be precise) sees the release of Tron Legacy, a sequel to the once maligned, now fondly remembered arcade-age extravaganza. With such a computer-centric film to promote it's no surprise the marketeers are hammering out viral shenanigans with aplomb, swiftly becoming one of the most elaborate online campaigns to date. Lets be honest, for your average Twilight fan Tron II is a potentially a tough popcorn product to sell, with a conceivably limited appeal beyond bearded white males of a certain age with a little too much time on their hands. Such a thoroughly geeky campaign could be seen as preaching to the already perverted.

Lo and behold, however, I am currently a bearded white male of a certain age with a little too much time on my hands, so when given a heads up on all this web-based tronfoolery I must admit it caught my attention. Considering the rumour-mill suggested in London it could all be happening at the BFI Imax, a mere 10 minute stroll from me bloomin' front door, I thought it was worth investigating...

Directed to a flashy tron-topic binary clock silently blipping away I was immediately confused, bewildered and unsettled as to what it all meant. Thankfully a plethora of forums were already way ahead of me, with peeps from all other the planet chattering and tweeting away as to the meaning of it all, breaking codes and sharing links. The clock was hosted by a site who's hook was based around a fictional underground organization - Flynn Lives - searching for Jeff Bridges' character Kevin Flynn. After triumphantly emerging back into the real world at the climax of 1982 original it seems he's been AWOL since the end of the decade. Ho ho ho, all the Tronites go - as they've seen the teaser trailer and borne witness to a heavily face-fuzzed Bridges lording it over Tron world!

So, safe in the knowledge that all over the world at least triple figured numbers of likewise time-wasters were doing the same thing, I nonchalantly flicked onto the clock as it neared it's dramatic countdown. At Zero Hour the page promptly crashed. Hoo-bloody-ray.

Thankfully the aforementioned plethora of forums were already hot on the trail. It transpired that, in a similar fashion to a Dark Knight viral from 2008, representatives of Flynn Lives were placed at arcade hot spots all over the globe - their whereabouts revealed in threesomes on an hourly basis. Despite observing the whole event on an impassive basis I was slowly enraptured by the yik-yakking of forum members - primed in their foreign locations for updates, donning Tron t-shirts to dart off at uncommon haste to be the first on the spot and relating anecdotes from previous episodes of the campaign - which began with a treasure hunt and Tron-themed Flynn's Arcade unveiling at the San Diego Comic Con last year. The team behind the viral had even taken to posting plastic "bits" resembling the pieces of the binary clock to individuals who'd sign up to their concocted cause. As a hoarder of equally useless crap this struck me as a rather sweet idea.

Just as I was about to chuff off for a prior engagement I took one last glance at the page to find the London based Flynn-burger was waiting at Selfridges, not 20mins away by tube! Logic, shame and time-frames flew out of the window as I dashed off towards said department store to see exactly what all the hullabaloo was about. Compacted with commuters into a corner of a Jubilee line train, exciting thoughts of secret missions and special purposes flashed through my mind - what a wheeze it would be to best all the other contestants in this international geek 'limpics!

With some trepidation I trundled my way down Selfridges' escalators, soon locating the Flynn Lives-clad representative. Somewhat embarrassed, she informed me that "the operative had made contact and was now active". Now feeling equally uncomfortable at the futility of it all I thought it only polite to make some small talk. After all, the poor girl mentioned that she'd probably have to hang about for the next hour or so whilst more bearded white men of a certain age sheepishly approached her to mumble "download complete". The Tronites who pipped me to the post had scarpered with their booty five minutes previous, but she'd already been hanging around for two hours playing the arcade machine to her right. It seemed like a dull, if remarkably easy, way to make a few quid, plus she could probably pop her t-shirt on eBay to further cash-in.

Sadly, on arrival to my pre-arranged destination everyone was decidedly unimpressed by stories of Tron-based special missions, and later that evening my partner was even more underwhelmed. In fact, she asked politely but sternly if I wouldn't mind socially keeping schtum on whole sorry affair.

Meanwhile, operatives all over the world were making contact, being given mobile phones leading them to a Tron wallets stuffed with vintage trading cards, tokens and secret codes, amoung other tat (except the Madrid contingent, who never made it to their chosen check-point).

Accumulatively they cracked a series of puzzles that opened a multitude of special pages and images on the Flynn Lives site - which in turn gave them even more sub-sites and brainteasers to solve. It also unlocked info about the previously predicted special screening at my local Imax - which after all that I don't have time to attend anyway...

The ingenuity of the marketeers and the tenacity of the fan base is something to behold, it'd be a lot more fun to construct the campaign than spend free time cracking it. I may be part of the target audience for the film, but perhaps not this sort of campaign. Whether or not it'll help Tron's box office is hard to say, but it no doubt keeps the film at the top of the over-crowded comic-book block-buster consciousness. Creating a buzz in a cynical, seen-it-all-before market place is hard enough, so to amp up anticipation by personally involving your audience surely can't hurt when it comes to getting repeated bums on seats.

Personally speaking though, I'm more than happy now to wait patiently for the movie to be out, but I don't think I've got the patience for any more Tron virals...well, not many more.

Cyriak Mee-ouch!

2009-12-10T10:44:00.001-08:00

Cyriak and his fantastically talented chum Sarah Brown have been hard at work on a gruesome music video for some months now - their attention to detail pushing them way past their self imposed Halloween deadline (not to mention paid gigs aswell i imagine - even twisted geniuses have got bills to pay, you know).

Nonetheless, unleashed onto the interweb to disturb and delight in equal measure this festive season is Meow, the Kitten Zombie Holocaust to end all Kitten Zombie Holocausts.....

Make your season a little darker by downloading the music or bagging an exclusive T-shirt - be the envy of your friends and the enemy of kitten lovers worldwide!

2009-12-06T14:37:00.001-08:00

Ghosts of Christmases Passed.

Back in 2006 & 2007 I was in charge of producing the idents and interstitials for the now defunk Sumo TV channel in the UK.

Myself and my merry band of collaborators produced what I haughtily consider to be some pretty good work on tiny budgets and breakneck schedules, but I've got a special affection for the Christmas content we made - especially since it only saw the light of day for a few weeks in total.

None of these could have been made without the priceless talents of Cyriak Harris and Dylan Lategan, plus untold stress, sweat, and tears from me old self - bah humbug.

Whippywatch Goes Global!

2009-10-01T04:52:00.001-07:00

I found myself in Cyprus this past month and I'm glad to report that, like Poptique itself, Whippywatch knows no international boundaries!

Not to be outdone by their London based contemporaries these Cyprian Whippers can certainly show their cockney counterparts a thing or two when it comes to displaying wildly off model cartoon characters in an effort to flog their confection.

Sadly, someone had to let the side down, with this pretty reasonable, one might even say, semi-professional depiction of the Disney gang.

2009-09-19T06:39:00.000-07:00

TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY

Garrrrrrr - it be Talk Like a Pirate Day, matey and that's the extent of sea-faring shiz you'll get from me in this post.

Over at the Cardfish site where those happy-go-lucky folk have me in charge of commissioning I gave artist Sarah Hopson and grandmaster-flash Phil Bower the opportunity to celebrate this one-of-a-kind event with a Cardfish eCard that let's you paste your mug or a mate's onto a Peg-legged Pirate who jigs, dances and - surprise, surprise - talks just like a genuine flippin' pirate!

There's a little mutinous twist I added to the mix, plus some extra bits and bobs and the voice of the characters supplied by yours-truly. Pop over there and send someone you love (or conversely, can't stand) a Cardfish to celebrate this frankly ridiculous day! (Once it's gone you can send Birthday or Get Well Soon versions of the same card, so it's not all been a terrible waste!).

(While you're at it, this weekend is your last chance to vote for the E4 award nominated game I also let them get away with - the supremely satisfying Hamsters Vs Aliens!)

2009-09-04T01:23:00.000-07:00

Don't You Just Love Tom & Jerry?

Who doesn't?

2009-09-01T08:56:00.001-07:00

Hamsters Vs Aliens

Like me you've no doubt pondered exactly what would happen if those lovable fur-baring, oft-caged critters we know as hamsters went toe to toe against mean green flying-machine equipped alien beings! Well you need ponder no longer as two of my Cardfish shipmates Phil Bower and Sarah Hopson have created a game which reveals the terrible out-come of such a mismatch in all it's grimy glory!

Very soon you'll be able to send each other a version of this game as a personalised greeting card, but for the time-being it's in the running to win a much-coverted prize at E4.

Please pop over there and give them your vote - their competition isn't much cop and frankly they could do with the cash....

Mind That Child! More Whippywatch Wonders!

2009-08-09T11:07:00.001-07:00

Whippywatch must surely be the gift that keeps on giving - with a seemingly endless parade of poorly daubed Ice Cream Vans patrolling the streets of London every summer.

For shit-spotters it's a non-stop festival of freaky faced Mickeys and deformed Donalds - so here's a few more gems I've handpicked for your viewing pleasure whilst lolly-gagging around the South Bank this month...

Caution Children - ice cream can cause jollity, strange stances and impossible feats of physicality.

Proof positive that model sheets can come in handy.

Bold claims from another collection of crappily rendered cartoon stars...

Good to see Bugs Bunny making an appearance for the Looney Tunes team, scaring off a massively oversized Tweety.

Fist man clenches angrily at the sight of a childhood favourite so poorly captured.

Less Pooh, more shite.

2009-07-04T04:27:00.000-07:00

Blur in Hyde Park Last Night

...were chuffing brilliant.

2009-06-28T01:29:00.000-07:00

Richard Harrison Tells it Like it is!

Courtesy of Joshkazid, who confesses he "doesn't know why", but has clearly found the best use for mashed-up, spewn out Richard Harrison footage since the glory days of Godfrey Ho, Joesph Lai and IFD:

For the uninitiated Poptique presents a pocket-sized introduction to Richard Harrison - the nation-straddling mustachioed former beefcake who's fast becoming a YouTube favourite!

Harrison knocked about in Utah in his formative years, making his merry way to Hollywood in the late 50s, appearing as a background artiste and hunk for hire until bagging a three picture deal with B-grade studio AIP. They swiftly which sent him packing to Europe, which is where Harrison set up shop for the rest of the decade after his debut star role in (and as) the Invincible Gladiator.

Find more videos like this on www.truveo.com.

Stealthily slotting into the muscle-bound ex-pat positions held by the like of Steve Reeves, Harrison spent the 60s flitting between sweaty Sword & Sandal Peplum roles and sixgun-totting Spaghetti Westerns. It was in the latter category that he gained his first footnote in film history, turning down Sergio Leone's Fistful of Dollars and recommending chum Clint Eastwood in his stead; sending him off to eventual super-stardom.

Harrison was never so lucky in terms of lead roles again, but continued to carve out a healthy niche nonetheless. If you like Spaghettis, Sandals or Spy movies you're in luck - he made an absolute shit-load.

The 70s ushered in the second phase of his career, as well as his now legendary face-fuzz. The newly 'tached Harrison began globe-trotting with a vengeance, popping up in Egyptian exploitation, Turkish rip-offs, and even Shaw Brothers epics, whilst maintaining his Italian leads in more war, westerns and crime movies. But by the end of the decade Harrison had begun to feel the pinch, as he seemingly became stuck as a bargain basement Chuck Norris in a spiral of micro-budgeted oriental movies.

Just witness the sort of sexy shiz he got up to below!

Whilst Harrison may have hit a high note in the late 70s as a low-rent, lady-draped Bond wannabe in the dubbylicious 007 meets Bruceploitation classic Challenge of the Tiger, a few short years later he somehow found his way to offices of Joseph Lai's IFD films, and eternal infamy followed...

Lai and his director-in-crime Godfrey Ho put the chop in chop-sockey, taking their ready-made Asian productions and splicing in barely related scenes featuring non-acting westerners to supposedly appeal to international audiences. Depending on what you read, or believe, Harrison signed to appear in a handful of productions but subsequently found the footage turning up in release after release.

Suddenly Harrison was the unwitting whiteman poster boy for cut and paste Hosploitation, and 20 years of hardworking film experience and leading roles evaporated in a cloud of ninja dust.

Despite a long and prolific career poor-old Harrison is almost universally recognised these days for a few weeks work stretched out over the space of nearly a dozen z-grade ninja knock-offs, with titles like Ninja Terminator, Ninja Commandments, Ninja Thunderbolt and Scorpion Thunderbolt.

It may not be far from the legacy he may have wanted, but bless him, it's the one he's ended up with. Hat's off to Harrison!

2009-06-14T11:16:00.000-07:00

Whippywatch continues!

Another scorcher in our nation's capital has brought even more woeful whippy artwork out into the streets, with fleets of flake-flinging ice-cream vans covered in craptastic cartooning caught lolly-gagging around London this weekend.
"Super Soft Ice" offered up a disturbingly pencil-necked Mickey plus a wild-eyed one-legged Ludwig Van Drake, whilst the another "often licked, never beaten" Super Soft Ice offered a parade of depressing deformity, featuring a decidedly dead-eyed Goofy alongside an embarrased lumpen Mickey.

Snow Shite says - "Stop me and buy one!".

2009-06-07T06:14:00.000-07:00

Whippywatch 2009

Summer has hit London with a vengeance in recent weeks, with record temperatures making commuters wilt and tube taking travel a last ditch option. Such luverly weather brings one welcome site to our nation's capital - that of Ice Cream Vans of the Mr Whippy variety, adorned in a slapdash manner with grotesque, copyright thumb-nosing images of famous animated stars!

I can't get enough flipping 99 Flake dealing Whippies covered in ill-shaped illustrations - they take me back to a childhood free of corporate control, where even officially licensed annuals, comic books and food-products featured freakishly deformed versions of your favourite cartoon heroes.

Oddly out-of-proportion, sugar-crazed characters are the order of the day - Disney stars being a favourite, no doubt due to their ease of cack-handed copy-ability. Other studio's cartoon celebrities appear less often - but when they do it's a joy to behold.

A recent personal favourite was a spotted slopped aside a "Soft Whip" van - with a particularly jobby Jerry going serial-killer crazy over an ice-cream brandished by animated adversary Tom.

Rest assured Poptique will be keeping a beady eye out for more manky Mickeys and tatty Tweetys as the summer months march on!

2009-06-02T01:05:00.001-07:00

Beatles bloody Rock Band

Rhythm games are one of the best things the next-gen console has given us. I can't imagine finding much fun plonking or plucking along to a series of beeps from a Spectrum or hammering a SNES joypad to circuit-board facsimiles of familiar songs. But once I caught sight (and heard tell) of Pa Rappa the Rappa I let loose on the PSone, knowing I'd encountered a new & resoundingly silly way of play.

Essentially a musical game of Simon Says, the initial rhythm games were the simple stuff of listen, then repeat by whacking buttons in time to a tune. Because of this admittedly basic structure the best of the games left the creators free to go frenzied with the visuals, piling on as much insanity as that generation of super-consoles could take.

Bonifide classics included the aforementioned Pa Rappa, it's sequel Um Jammer Lammy and Vib Ribbon from the same brilliantly misshapen mind. The long-legged, Jackson-loving Space Channel Five games were good, plus Bust A Groove & Dance Dance Revolution added jigging about on some arrows to the mix.

Things took a turn to more on hand playing with Guitarfreaks - an arcade series which gave the player their own plastic plucker to pummel & pose with, spawning console spin-offs and a stick-driven off shoot, DrumMania.

With the latest line of ultra-consoles and their mania for plastic-molded add-ons came the titles which took the rhythm game to the masses - Guitar Hero and Rock Band. The extra-techy bits and bobs inside the consoles allowed the designs to pop in karaoke singalongs too. Now there was all manner of ways to embarras or entertain the poor souls stuck in the room with you.

Since every air-guitarist had the ability to hammer and holler along with their favourite bands, it wasn't long until someone handed over a whole game over to just one band act. This bright idea is about to get it's biggest blockbuster yet as the ultimate musical behemoths - The Beatles - bring out a bangalong trip through their back catalog.

Considering my affection for rhythm games it was awhile before I shelled out for a Wii Guitar Hero and plastic peripheral to strum (or at least press), but I've taken quite a fancy to the idea. A Beatles game looks like a capital concept, although I must admit it's a shame the game itself looks pretty bloomin' dull in comparison to the dashing designs of this UK produced promo, via Passion Pictures and some of the peeps behind the Gorillaz.

2009-05-05T12:29:00.000-07:00

Shameless Swine Flu Cash In!

Since everyone is going Swine Flu crazy I thought it's high time I cashed in with an old ident I produced with Cyriak for use on the now defunct Sumo.tv, retitled in reference to the eponymous pandemic.

It's a barefaced, shameless and desperate attempt to drum up some hits for my neglected Poptiquepresents Youtube account, after my previously well-subscribed Poptique channel was unceremoniously ejected after some ne'erdowell dobbed me into ther powers that be for posting some obscure Bollywood clipets.

I'm confident that this woe begotten grasp at regaining a once healthy viewership will end in despondency and disappointment - so lets sit back and see the video amp up the hits!

Update - three weeks later and it's gained a grand total of 104 extra hits. Bugger.

2009-05-01T01:05:00.001-07:00

Hoorah for Hieronymus Merkin!

If you enjoy infamous cinematic titanics, self-flagellation on a massive scale and a good old fashioned sing-song to boot then you missed a whale of a time this April 30th when the National Film Theatre presented a very rare screening of Anthony Newley's epically titled Can Hieronymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?

It's the kind of film that makes you shift around in your seat with violent self-conscious embarrassment even though you had nothing whatsoever to do with it's overblown creation - even more so when screened in the presence of Newley's real-life daughter and pint-sized co-star, Tara Newley.

Nonetheless you've got to stand back and admire the self-delusion and chupatz of a man who rather than having a quiet word about his infidelities with (then) wife Joan Collins, would rather write, direct, sing and dance in an auto- biographical Felliniesque extravaganza dealing almost exclusively with his serial dicking around.

That he would then cast Collins in the picture and continue his philandering behind the back of her onscreen character only makes his outrageous gall all the more jaw-dropping...

And what a picture it is too - a labyrinthine film within a film (within a film) which stars Newley as his onscreen doppelganger Hieronymus Merkin, as well as his shadowy director and ultimately himself. Unlike many 60s phantasmagorias this is one weirdity that keeps on chugging, with one mind blowing set piece after another. Just when you think you have it sussed Newley throws another concept on the fire, topping it all off with a twisted fairy tale featuring a scantily-clad nubile young woman, a midget and a donkey.

Newley stacks the film full of odd ball characters whilst keeping the focus firmly upon himself - Milton Berle appears throughout as a wisecracking devil incarnate, chummy teatime favourite and national treasure Bruce Forsyth makes one of his welcome big-screen appearances and a shrink-wrapped George Jessel pops up throughout as a ghostly gag-smith haunting Hieronymus.

A film as self-centered as this must have been a hard sell back in '69, and most of the advertising seems focused on general naughtiness and the film's X rating, with little or no mention of the music or even it's star.

Such a sexed up salesmanship invariably ended up alienating and disappointing experience for the average hand-shandy punter looking for a bit of LSD-tinged rumpy-pump, but what else could a confused Hollywood studio do with a self-produced piece of self-promotion starring a performer who was essentially Marmite personified?

It's a shame that the print on offer was in ropey condition, looking like it had been dragged through many a half-empty grindhouse before finding it's way to the NFT - but for a film as unloved as this it's little surprise. A new print probably hasn't been struck since Newley was packing them in down Las Vegas way, so it's hats off to the Flipside for getting hold of anything screenable in the first place. (WOW! According to Will Kane who helped organise this event the print itself was from Newley's own archive! Not only does this up the rarity stakes immeasurably in the rarity, but I love it even more now I know his own personal print was worn down by repeated exposure!)

It's unlikely that Hieronymus Merkin will ever receive any sort of critical revival or rediscovery, but it's true to say there really isn't anything else quite like it and in this day and age of homogenised characterless blandism that's certainly nothing to be sniffed at.

I'm not sure I would (or could) sit through it all again but it's certainly fascinating and somewhat frightening to see someone as immensely talented and immeasurably troubled as Newley lay himself quite literally bare and ask for some sort of twisted understanding from the people that ultimately seemed to matter to him most - his audience.

2009-03-27T03:50:00.000-07:00

CHARLIE BROOKER'S NEWSWIPE

You have to question the state of modern television when some of it's finest programmes are generally about how crappy the medium can be. Although you could argue that Harry Hill's TV Burp is essentially a vehicle for mainstreaming the madcap comedian's lunatic shtick there's no denying it remains a well aimed and pretty funny show.

Better still is Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe which doesn't just navel gaze the idiocy of the industry but repeatedly pummels it in the proverbial gut. To be fair he also gives praise where praise is due and if anything it's a very British primal scream at a medium that resonates such nostalgia in people like myself, promises so much, yet routinely disappoints if you're looking for anything above the level of repetitious mediocrity these days.

It's also one of my favourite shows of the past gawd-knows-how-many years and it's perhaps only the BBC who would commission and continue to produce a programme that red flags the dubious nature of much of it's own content.

Well Brooker is back with a brand new season of a Screenwipe offshoot - Newswipe. Once again it's a acerbic, satirical but ultimately razor-sharp examination of the way news media has become a lazy, twisty, turny, truth-stretching Machiavellian in the living-room corner.

Whilst we're talking about a BBC series well worth catching let me also swiftly recommend something new from a similarly subversive individual of a slightly more mature vintage : Alan Whicker's Journey of A Lifetime. What could have been another cheap-jack talking head clip-show is elevated to an elegant tribute to the man himself as the intrepid well-traveled Whicker revisits the locations and subjects of his most-fondly remembered shows from his last 50-odd years as a broadcaster...

A true, one-of-kind legend, it's always a pleasure to spend some time in the gentleman's company and retracing his televisual steps in this fantastic series is no exception.

2009-03-19T03:06:00.000-07:00

PLEASE SAY SOMETHING

I can't quite put my finger on why I like David O'Reilly's award winning Please Say Something so much, but I do know that's just one of the many reasons why I like it so much! Here it is:

2009-03-16T11:11:00.001-07:00

Japanese Spider-man Streams his Subtitled Web!

This may not be news to those "in the know", (as they've no doubt been in the know for quite awhile), but during the seventies small-screen superhero renaissance a live-action Spider-man not only clung to the sides of skyscrapers Stateside, but also leapt into living rooms in the Land of the Rising Sun!

Japanese Spider-man was a wee bit different from the familiar neurotic teenager Peter Parker: he didn't get bitten by a radioactive spider during a field trip - he was madcap motorcyclist who gained his powers from a UFO called "The Marveller".

Nor did he face his regular rogues gallery of Green Goblins, Dr Octopuses or Kingpins - just Professor Monster and his kinky lady sidekick Amazoness, along with gaggles of goons from other worlds!

Just like many a future Japanese costumed crime-fighter he also piloted his own giant robot - the Leopardon - which came in particularly handy when an adversary grew to Godzilla style proportions during a confrontation (which they invariably did).

You could even buy a transforming toy version of the Leopardon to battle your household pet!

For many years the only way to see the show was via dodgy grey market VHS bootlegs, but it eventually found it's way onto unsubbed DVD in Japan, in turn appearing on dodgy grey market torrent sites. Nonetheless, this treasure trove of psychotronic superheroics has never had an official release in the west - a terrible shame when it seems to contain more entertainment value than the three big budget Spider-man movies combined.

Just witness Spidey being driven fruit loopy by a killer boy band!!

Well Marvel.com have done the right thing and official subtitled the series, releasing a new episode online every week!

A great way to rot you mind even further each Thursday!

2009-02-13T08:35:00.001-08:00

VALENTINE'S DAY eCards!

Poptique was commissioned this January to produce some Valentine's Day eCards for Cardfish.com.

Once again we went straight to the winning duo of animators Ginny & Garth to create a clutch of eCards that would appeal to a wide spectrum of starry-eyed sentimentalists and cold-hearted humbuggers alike!

Animated by Ginny Robertson, the Valentine Love Bunnies feature a clutch of romantic rabbits popping up to wave hearts, call up your loved one and holler those three magic words down the phone! You can tailor the message depending on your relation- ship (very helpful) and even paste your mug into the video to make it even more heartfelt - or horrorific!

Talking of horror, we also knocked out an Anti-Valentine version, just incase our cute critters proved too much for potential Cardfishers. This one is a bit of a Valentine Day's Massacre, with the bunnies gunning down the plane you pilot and meeting a slightly gory end to boot...

Garth Jones tackled our other eCard concept - the tale of a corpulent Cupid too heavy to deliver your chosen gift. He crashes to earth and calls up your partner to give them the news - a romantic way to pass the buck!

Five versions are available - each with different gifts for Cupid to carry, plus a change of message depending on who the card is going to...

2008-12-31T10:48:00.001-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2008-12-22T00:37:00.000-08:00

SPIRITS OF CHRISTMAS PAST...
RIP WOOLWORTHS

Ready to be laid to rest this coming new year is ghost of once-great high-street giant Woolworths, due to a combination of rabid competition, rapidly changing consumer spending and good old-fashioned mis-management.

My girlfriend can't understand my affinity with Woolies, which is understandable since the scabby branch she grew up with differed considerably from the cosy, cottage-y old building my childhood memories associated with the brand. Looksee below - innit lovely?

Used to be that Christmas meant at trip to Woolworths. Maybe it wasn't the case, but they seemed to supply every one of my gaudy childhood decorations (such as fondly recalled strings of purple tinsel) and I'm pretty sure that 9 out of 10 of my pocket money purchased gifts came from those now empty shelves.

Nevertheless, I hadn't frequented it's floors for yonks, and last time I set foot in a store before the recent closure announcements I beat a hasty retreat after the only other customers - a chavtastic couple armed with a fully-loaded pram, complete with screaming kids - smashed a mirror and bawled the blame at one another.

Out of curiosity I visited the Aldershot branch just before Christmas to witness it being torn apart, and everything for up for sale - even the store's shelves and safe.

Big spender that I am I stumped up the cash for a pair of heavily reduced Indiana Jones socks and a Speed Racer die cast car, both of which were subsequently archived away at the back of a cupboard at my parents place, already creaking under the combined weight of the crap I've surreptitiously stored there over the years.

So, as a tribute to the soon-to-go goliathons I present some festive highlights from the Christmas campaigns of late-lamented Woolies, as well as a particularly dreadful recent advertisement that indicates how out of touch the brand had become (and remains an ill-advised excursion for all concerned...).

Brand & Ross BBC Ballyhoo

2008-10-28T04:35:00.000-07:00

Certain personages with a political axes to grind love to jump on our cherished BBC at every given opportunity. Certainly, they produce a fair share of shite, but don't we all? They've also knocked out some of the most amazing television and radio the world has ever seen over the years too, you know, and continue to do so...

One of the most ridiculous witch-hunts in recent memory was kicked off by the irreverent Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross calling ex-comedy waiter Andrew Sachs for a prearranged telephone interview. When Sach's answering machine clicked on instead of the absent man himself, the duo proceeded to leave some ramshackle, rather rude, but still highly amusing (for us listeners) messages in regards to the actor's grand-daughter and her possible sexual relations with the aforementioned Brand.

Over one humdrum week later and all hell has suddenly broken loose - Mr Sach's agent has made hay whilst blurting out they've complained to Aunty Beeb allowing Conservative bods & tabloids to jump on the band wagon, calling for the presenters heads, bellowing that senior BBC figures be bundled out the back door and the 25 year old "school-boy" producer be dragged through the cobbled streets, flogged with thorny bushes and dumped in the deep end of the Thames.

Taking a gander at the (no doubt fine and upstanding) Mr Sach's grand-daughter allows one to see immediately see what effect this sorry affair must have had on her once sheltered existence... Her Myspace page currently greets visitors with a hearty - "f*ck p~ss b#gger arse f"ck t$rd r&pe shyte, yeah that's right". Free speech in full, and some might say, glorious effect.

She looks like she'll have a whale of a time off the back of this, but really, this is officially the most pointless BBC scandal to date...

2008-10-27T05:56:00.001-07:00

BONDALIKES BOUNCE BACK!!

Around the release of the last Bond movie Poptique posted a bunch of blurbs concerning the many 007 doppelgangers who have crowded exploitation cinema since the release of the first James Bond epic Dr No - way, way back in 1963!

This proved to be a most heartily received series, and since you can't move for the man himself at the moment - looking mean and moody whilst flogging his Quantum of Solace, plus fizzy drinks, perfume and TV sets to boot - I thought it was high-time to revisit the super-spy sub-genre!

Last time around I detailed some hitherto unheeded Bollywood cash-ins, so to kick off proceedings here's some seedy action from the now fairly well-known South Indian epic James Bond 777 (1971) - about as down and dirty as a 007 double can get...

Available from many popular torrent sites and on VCD, it's been languishing in my DVD collection for years and I still haven't gotten around to watching the whole thing...

Many of the Bollywood Bonds are still very hard to track down - and don't think I haven't tried. One I couldn't help but highlight is Shaan (1980), starring the legendary Amitabh Bachchan alongside Kulbhushan Kharbanda as a Blofeld type super villain! If you doubt it's Bondian credentials check out it's Maurice Binderesque title sequence (scored by the ever-reliable RD Burman!)...

We all have a soft spot for Roger Moore era, safari-suited Bond - but how much better would Octopussy have been with something like this shoved right in the centre of it?

The 1960s unsurprisingly spewed forth the largest number of Bondalikes, simply due to the Bondmania which swept the world in the wake of Goldfinger and Thunderball. Much more highly informed cinephiles than myself have delved deep into the Eurospy genre, but I've never been much of a fan, finding the majority of these low-budget cash-ins slow and ponderous. Much more fun were the Euro-super hero movies - or Euper-heroes as I like to call them - which added a dash of Bond to a melange of camp caped crusaders and Mexican wrestlers ( I touched on the genre in the Comic Book episode of Cult45).

A typical example of the Euro-Spy genre is the 077 adventure Espionage in Tangiers, available on a double-disc set with another secret-agent knock-off.

Easily the most infamous Euro-Spy Bondalike of them all is 1967’s OK Connery - also known as Operation Kid Brother. I’ve been trying to track down a wide-screen print for years, but I’m certain when I finally do it'll be the type of bare-faced exploitation cheek that is guaranteed not to live up to it's potential (neither incredibly good or astoundingly bad).

Aside from bagging a genuine Bond girl in the delectable form of Daniela Bianchi, plus M and Moneypenny themselves, the producers scored a somewhat dubious casting coup in the form of Sean’s non-acting bearded brother Neil Connery. (Note the tagline references to the same year’s Casino Royale, by the way…)

With a jaunty Ennio Morricone score, and Thunderball’s bad guy Adolfo Celi, you can’t get much closer to the Bondian bone than this - and it would be a peach to get a double-o commentary of the movie from both Neil and his more illustrious brother, but that’s a pipe-dream to say the least. Why the film remains unreleased officially remains a mystery - surely curiosity value alone should have snuck it out somewhere...

For my money, the best Bond movie still remains On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, although posterity sadly recalls George Lazenby, it’s one-shot star, disappearing off the radar almost immediately. This was far from the case, but he did have a run of almost ludicrous bad luck which began when he jumped ship from the famous franchise.

007 was looking a bit leaky at the beginning of the 70s, with the both Diamonds Are Forever and the initial Roger Moore pictures floating along successfully but unspectacularly. Over in Hong Kong Golden Harvest planned to blow them out of the water with the action-epic to end them all - Bond vs. Bruce Lee, with the Street Fighter thrown into the mix to spice things up further!

The Shrine of Ultimate Bliss was conceived as the ultimate international team-up with Bruce Lee headlining alongside Lazenby and Sonny Chiba. When Lee died unexpectedly the project began to wilt almost immediately, with Chiba abandoning the picture and Warner Bros. dropping the distribution duties, leaving Lazenby contractually stranded.

Nonetheless, Stoner (as it was eventually titled) is a hoot - with Angela Mao as his co-star and Sammo Hung along with Lee’s alleged mistress Betty Ting Pei in supporting roles. Released in 1974, this domestic trailer reveals Golden Harvest determinedly playing the double-o connection to the hilt.

Righto - that’s your lot for now, but I’m sure I’ll find time to bedazzle you with a few more non-Bonds before the Quantum of Solace runs it’s course.

2008-10-24T05:56:00.001-07:00

POPTIQUE HITS 100!

Whilst at times it may seem I've abandoned the Poptique blog it's purely a misunderstanding - I'm just very busy working! I remain astounded by all the bloggers who can turn out article after article on a weekly, sometimes daily basis when I struggle summon up the energy to knock out one or two a month.

Since the hundredth post should surely be the cause for something special I thought it might be a change to showcase some of my own work, instead of some outrageous output from an Asian shanty town...

Poptique is my company identity as well as this blog's title. I'm a Creative Producer working in London and I write, produce and edit variety of content for broadcast channels in the UK. One of them - Sumo.tv - also commissioned me to produce Cult45, my very own exploitation film show, which aired earlier this year to great critical success and a viewership of at least 28 people (I know this because I got 28 lovely emails regarding the show). The final cuts of the episodes will all be available online by the end of the year.

Freelancing for Sumo.tv afforded me the opportunity to collaborate with some amazingly talented individuals - most notably animators Cyriak Harris, Elliot Cowan, and Dylan Lategan, illustrator Sarah Hopson and Vincent Tempest (who personally represented my entire production crew on Cult45) alongside temporarily retired co-presenter Emma Bain. Hats off to all of them :)

2008-09-08T03:01:00.001-07:00

MUD, MIRE & BESTIVAL.

This past couple of days I fulfilled a year long promise to lend a hand in producing an episode of the always entertaining Ohdearyme Blag Blog by the one and only Becki Burrows, which meant a trip down to the coast and across the waves to the Isle of Wight to attend Bestival. It just so happened to occur on one of the most water-logged weekends of the summer I might add, complete with rumors of the main stage sinking into the depths of a muddy hell...

Beavering away backstage bagging and blagging interviews whilst dodging downpours, I managed catch snippets of The Specials, Gary Numan, Grace Jones and the inevitable wheeling out of Winehouse, not to mention a healthy portion of Hot Chip (wisely all shots of me grooving like a goon to them were excised from the completed video). It was at this point I dropped my trusty mobile into the mud and had to rummage around in an ankle-deep caramac-coloured puddle to locate the thing - which has unsurprisingly remained somewhat buggered since.

Eventually the weather proved to be quite enough for me and I wisely retired to my warm and dry hotel room whilst everyone else partied until dawn. Rest assured, I was awoken at the crack to recover our two-man crew who were wandering the streets of Sandown suitably dazed and confused.

Despite the often torrential nature of the deluge it still proved to be a giggle I thought it would be - props the ever-reliable Vincent Tempest, the tremendous Tom Wright, Marina Pol, Harriet Walker and the producer/presenter herself, the ever charming Miss Burrows, who we look forward to working with again in the near future! ;)

2008-07-21T02:33:00.000-07:00

FIGHT BATMAN FIGHT! - A Gregarious Gallery of Counterfeit Caped Crusaders.

With the Dark Knight almost upon us (already unleashed overseas, to be exact) I thought it was time to take in some of Batman's previous big screen incarnations. Rather than go over the same ground as who-knows-how-many-other sites, here at Poptique we like to be a bit different...

So in a follow up to my earlier peek into the fantastic world of Filipino Pop Cinema here are some incredibly obscure Dark Knight doppelgangers courtesy of Video48, which may well be new to you (they certainly were to me...)

Supposedly predating Adam West's camped up Caped Crusader was 1965's ALYAS BATMAN AT ROBIN (not to be confused with the 1993 ALYAS BATMAN EN ROBIN, a painfully cheap singalong spoof of the 60s show, complete with a mustachioed Joker and a cameo by Wonder Woman). Since star Bob Soler also appeared on Filipino screens as the Phantom and home-grown hero Captain Barbell it's safe to suggest that the 1965 version was straight-laced action cinema that pipped the TV show to the post.

BATMAN VS DRACULA - a cataclysmic confrontation that didn't take place on the comic book page until 1991 was unleashed on an unsuspecting Filipino public in 1967. Quite what is going on inside Batman's chest-plate logo is open to interpretation. It's unlikely this version was influenced in any way by Andy Warhol's 1964 Batman Dracula, to be very honest.

1973 brought a crop of Batman epics, undoubtedly inspired by the massive box-office success of the first Darna movie with Vilma Santos - Lipad Darna, Lipad! (Fly Darna, Fly!)

FIGHT BATMAN, FIGHT! featured Victor Wood in the title role - just like Darna star Vilma Santos, Ronald Regan and Batman & Robin's Mr Freeze, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Wood later entered the murky world of politics. Fight Batman, Fight! also featured the Joker, Robin, Catwoman and Filipino starlet Pinky as Batgirl. The same year Pinky starred in a smash-hit version of Supergirl for another studio.

Since super-powered lady crime-busters meant big bucks in 1973, Batwoman hit the screen soon after Batman himself. Darna also had a kiddie side-kick (the non-super heroic Ding) so mother and son team Virgina and Robin Aristorenas appeared in the title roles of BATWOMAN & ROBIN. Whether or not the film was a success would be pure conjecture on my part, but it was followed by a sequel the same year when the dynamic duo took on the Queen of Vampires!

It's doubtful that any of these films will be made available any time soon - chances are they've long since disappeared into dust, but one Filipino Batman has definitely survived to be witnessed with mouth wide open - the Bond and Batman comedy-combo JAMES BATMAN.

Camp comedian Dolphy had been rolling them in the aisles since the early 50s, and cultivated a long career in cinematic spoofs - taking aim on such targets as Darna (Darna Kuno?), Jackie Chan (the Dancing Master), Tarzan (Tanzan the Mighty) and James Bond (Doplfinger, Dr. Yes). Dolphy gave Bond another run for his money in 1966 by playing both the super-spy and the Caped Crusading super-hero in the same film. Teleport City Cinema also bagged a copy and unlike myself actually made it from the beginning to the end without skipping. A super-heroic effort indeed...

2008-07-17T02:25:00.001-07:00

THE FORBIDDEN KINGDOM - Jackie & Jet party like it's 1989

It's a strange year at the cinema - what with new Indiana Jones, Batman and Bond movies, alongside a Ghostbusters reunion in video game form. It almost seems like 1989 all over again.

However, the only film that has really taken me back to the sort of empty-headed but ultimately joyous fare I lapped up as a young whipper-snapper in the 80s is the long awaited Jackie Chan / Jet Li kung fu combo The Forbidden Kingdom. Despite looking sharp and of 21st century standard, for some strange reason it just feels like an 80s movie - a Gremlins, Goonies or Back to the Future type of movie.

Early trails didn't exactly look promising, and the more I saw of the white-bread geek-chic lead actor the more worried I got. Therefore it came as a pleasant surprise that after an almost unbelievably weak (but thankfully quick) set up the movie shifted in gear and entertained from there on in. It's exactly the type of "they-don't-make-them-like-this-anymore" family-orientated epic that Indiana Jones & the Crystal Skull struggled to be.

Make no mistake - this is chop-sockey cinema at it's most lightweight - but with impressive production design, lovely locations, above-average fight scenes and best of all, Chan in Drunken Master mode, giving his finest performance yet in an American made film. Chan looks as if he's genuinely having fun, and his warmth is infectious, making the Forbidden Kingdom extremely likable escapist entertainment.

All in all it's a Martial Artists-on-a-mission movie I could happily take my nephew to see, safe in the knowledge he'd be kung-fuing all manner of inanimate objects for the rest of the day. Considering I've seen enough head-busting kung fu movies in my time that I wouldn't let him anywhere near just yet, what could be better than that?

2008-06-24T07:07:00.001-07:00

Complete & Utter History of Britain

Heads up to all Monty Python fans! A very rare screening of Michael Palin and Terry Jones' embryonic and once thought lost series The Complete & Utter History of Britain is screening at the NFT in London tomorrow.

Since it's creators will also be in attendance the chances of you bagging a ticket at this late date are slim to say the least - I know as I've tried myself... Ah well, let the magic of Youtube go someway to qwelling your disappointment with a whole episode someone has generously posted:

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

2008-05-28T17:55:00.001-07:00

Quick Whip-around With Indiana Jones

Any franchise with such solid pop-culture credentials as Indiana Jones comes complete a flood-tide of merchendise hitting the shelves, but here in the UK there only seems to be a smattering. Aside from the nifty new Lego sets, some Panini-style stickers and kiddie-aimed comics only thing I've witnessed on a regular basis are Crystal Skull scratch cards. Not being a hard-bitten gambler at heart I've rarely dabbled in the murky world of the National Lottery, but the buggers have hooked me in with these Indy cards (especially after I won £20 on a Raiders one...).

The commercial, screening on TV and in cinemas before the actual movie, features Sean Cameron Michael as "Indiana Jones" - and surely it's no mere coincidence that he played a similar role in this year's Allan Quatermain and the Temple of Skulls, from notorious knock off agents Asylum...

When it comes to Indy produce it's a different tale in the US, as this rather bitter blogger informs us (He makes some fair points , but it would have been nicer if he didn't beg for gold stars at the end of it... )

Advertisers have always been looking to make a quick buck or two off the back of the franchise - as far back as the original films Terry's Chocolate Oranges were flogged Indy style in this fondly remembered series....

Wrangler Jeans did the same thing with ten times the budget but hardly any of the charm - although I must admit that being chased by a giant head is a pretty swish idea...

2008-05-27T16:28:00.001-07:00

INDIANA JONES and the CACOPHONY OF COPY CATS

Yep, the man with the hat is back and just like just everyone else I'm beginning to wonder why the blighters bothered... Sure enough, the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a shopworn affair, and anyone expecting something to rank alongside Raiders was destined to be disappointed.

Lighting can't be bottled twice and Raiders was a pretty much perfect product of it's time, with two much maligned purveyors of popcorn cinema at the top of their game. I'm happy to say I genuinely enjoyed the new film first time around, so much so I've seen it twice this week, but despite the novelty of a new Indy adventure I can't see myself going again...

You can slag off it's short comings till crystal kingdom come, and I'll probably agree with you at every turn - but I still took some pleasure in a handful of moments that did resemble a proper Indiana Jones adventure, and hearing notes from the whip-cracking archeologist's musical back catalog reverberate around a theatre once again did send a few shivers (although any and all new sections of the score were decidedly sub-par). It could have been a whole lot worse - if you've read any of the discarded scripts you may have seen howlers even more shocking than Shia's Tarzan swing - for example, a pension-pounding Indy leaping from biplane to biplane and back again. Maybe we should consider ourselves blessed...

Shockingly enough, the movie has even inspired a new knock-off adventure with King Solomon's Mines hero Allan Quartermain, as well as an intriguing Korean romp, plus talk of a Bollywood Indy. That's nothing compared to the tide of fedora-wearing fakers that swept through cinemas back in the 1980s, however. Rather than gab anymore about the Crystal Skull I'd like to present Poptique's completely non-comprehensive guide to Raiders rip-offs and outrageous adventures inspired by Indy:

TALES OF THE GOLD MONKEY 1982

The first cash-ins hit the small screen the year following Raiders first release. Since the combination of Spielberg & Lucas smelt of obvious box-office boomtime, it's no surprise networks had a few similar projects ready for the offing. Tales of the Gold Monkey followed the adventures of a grizzled pilot. Inspired by Howard Hawks' Only Angels Have Wings, it dragged it's heels getting commissioned for some years, only getting the production nod after Dr Jones took his bow. As you can see from the titles the show offered such delights as painted midgets and one-eyed dogs.

BRING 'EM BACK ALIVE 1982

Based on real-life big game hunter Frank Buck, who produced a movie of the same name in 1932 (parodied some 14 years later by Donald Duck), the Tron-tastic Bruce Boxleitner played the grizzled pith-helmeted trapper for 17 episodes. I particularly enjoyed every character turning to face the viewer during the titles, and the climax where Buck throws himself off a cliff for no apparent reason.

The big problem with these shows soon became apparent - the high cost of high adventure was hard to meet on a week after week TV budget, causing both to get canned after one season despite healthy ratings. This wasn't such a headache for knock-off and run exploitation film-makers and 1983 proved to be the zenith of Indy imitation...

ARK OF THE SUN GOD 1983

Inevitably the frenzied rip-off merchants of Italy spewed out the largest number of Lost Arks, with director Antonio Margheriti getting in there early with Hunters of the Golden Cobra, in 1982, and following up with some of the same grizzled cast members the following year. Margheriti (aka Anthony M Dawson) was no stranger to rip-off cinema, having churned out Bondalikes, spaghetti-westerns, sci-fi epics, and even post Piranha Killer-Fish cash-ins. He'd triple-dip in the Raiders-rip genre a couple of years down the line.

RAIDERS OF ATLANTIS 1983

Not just an Indy imitation but a Mad Max Road Warrior rip-off to boot! Set in the far distant future of 1994, Christopher Connelly starred as a grizzled, gun-toting mercenary in a film jam-packed with crystal skulls.

SAHARA 1983

Everyone else seemed to forget the luverly romantic banter between Harrison Ford and Karen Black in Raiders, except Cannon - who released the 1930s set wannabe epic which gave the viewer soppy romance in droves, plus Brooke Shield and sack loads of sand - all to little avail... (It did have John Rhys Davis though, which is more than can be said for 50% of the Indiana Jones films).

TREASURE OF THE FOUR CROWNS 1983

Everyone was going whoop-de-do over 3D back in the early 80s (Jaws 3D, anyone?) so a 3D Indy rip seemed an obvious route, and sure enough he came in the guise of J.T. Striker - grizzled, flip-flopping soldier of fortune. I haven't seen this for years, but apart from some nifty booby traps and an impressive poster I remember it being fairly incomprehensible. On top of that, stuff being repeatably thrown at you in 2D gets pretty tired pretty quickly...

PERILS OF GWENDOLINE IN THE LAND OF YIK-YAK 1984

Kinky French adventure from the director of Emmanuelle, based very loosely on a S&M comic book. Twany Kitaen is the innocent abroad in this period set romp which finds her searching for a rare butterfly whilst loosing her garments in the jungle, the desert and finally the "Kingdom of Women" (where chariots are pulled by babes in bondage gear). Grizzled hunk Brent Huff looks on in lust and eventually does the deed in a surprising scenario...

CAPTAIN YANKEE & THE JUNGLE RAIDERS 1985

The grizzled dynamic duo of independent Indy rippers Antonio Margheriti and Christopher Connelly combined is this fine, tongue-in-cheek adventure tale, with Lee Van Cleef as the Connelly's rival on the hunt for a legendary jewel.

KING SOLOMONS MINES 1985

By this point it wasn't just Italy who wanted a piece of the Indy action. Cannon commissioned a well-timed remake of H.R. Haggard's colonial rip-roarer to riff off The Temple of Doom, and cannily shot it's sequel - Allan Quartermain and the Lost City of Gold - at the same time. That they both turned out to be distinct embarrassments came as no surprise, even though John Rhys Davis was still consolidating his Raiders notoriety with a villainous role in this one. The decidedly non-grizzled Richard Camberlain starred, alongside a pre-pantyless flashing Sharon Stone.

ARMOUR OF GOD 1987

Hong Kong has knocked out a few Indy-style epics, such as Jet Li's Dr Wai and the Scripture With No Words, and Yuen Biao's A Kid From Tibet, but by far and away the best (and incidentally the finest film in this list) is Jackie Chan's Armour of God. A rollicking epic, that nearly cost Chan his life when a stunt gone wrong left him with quite literally a hole in the head. Although the film gets flabby in the middle, getting bogged down in Bond-style chases, the opening and closing set pieces are outstanding eye-poppers. A sequel followed with Operation Condor in 1991, and a final chapter is rumored to be in the offing...

THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF TENNESSEE BUCK 1988

Naughty, spoofy nonsense by and starring the grizzled David Keith, battling cannibals, chasing women and trekking through the jungle. Features some particularly bad taste moments which I won't go into here...

TOPLINE 1988

A last ditch Indy effort from Italy threw in the kitchen sink, along with grizzled Franco Nero. The poster promised Aztec treasures, buried spaceships, Nazis, the CIA, the KGB, and alien terrorists - shockingly, the film delivered them all!

DUCK TALES

Yep, Duck Tales.

Carl Barks' epic Donald Duck adventures were a prime influence on Raiders (don't believe me? Look see...), so it should come as no surprise that Disney sent grizzled, filthy-rich, money-grabbing millionaire Scrooge McDuck on a variety of globe trotting adventures with his identikit nephews Huey, Duey and flippin' Louie in tow.

2008-05-01T13:13:00.000-07:00

Filipino Fun, Fantasy and Fakery!

Due to the Internet, one day soon I'm sure information on all of the cinematic obscurities of the world will be available to us, but at the moment it's still wonderful to uncover a country's hidden pop culture hitherto unnoticed by the rest of the planet.

Take Video48, a mind-shattering trip into the uncharted realms of Filipino cinema, featuring a menagerie of stills, posters and articles from films I never even dared to dream existed! I stumbled across home-grown super-heroes such as Mars Revelo's Darna a few years back, and Eric Cueto's fansite provided a wealth of information on her cinematic adventures, (whilst also revealing tantalising glimpses of her on-screen contemporaries), but I certainly hadn't realised the extent to which comic book characters pervaded the Philippine big-screen.

Chances are the country was second only to Turkey when it came to cinematic Super-heroes - Darna herself has starred in 14 films and two TV series, which certainly puts Wonder Woman to shame.

Here's the most popular Darna of them all, screen legend Vilma Santos, discussing the role:

Sadly most of these fantasy films are unlikely to have survived - the condition of the Vilma Santos' early Darna movies is supposedly so wretched that a DVD release has been permanently canned, and ancient VHS copies of Darna & the Giants and Darna & the Planet Women are jealously guarded by the few collectors who salvaged them from rental shops.

Just as in Turkey, these films were probably considered to be as disposable as the comic books on which they were based - but I for one would go ga-ga for a double bill of this years The Dark Knight with 1973's Fight Batman Fight (fair enough, my brain might melt out of my ears afterwards, but what a way to go...)

2008-04-29T13:15:00.001-07:00

IRON MAN & HIS RUSTY RELICS

Clang, clang clang! What's that coming around the corner? Why, it's the armour-plated Golden Avenger* kicking off what promises to be a bumper season for franchise fanatics and comic book true-believers alike!

It certainly can't be any worse than last year's somewhat lacklustre summer, littered as it was with some of the most moribund sequels and multi-million dollar dullards in recent memory.

Iron Man is a pretty bloomin' important movie for the company who owns him - it's the first born from Marvel Studios, the first time they've fully taken the reigns with a movie based on one of their properties (and Hollywood has been knocking them out since the 40s). When you look at the various hits and misses it's probably high time they took control - the Merry Marvel Marching Society may have been raking in the cash the past few years, but although success stories like the Fantastic Four and Spider-man movies have their fans (stacks of them) they all smacked of reading from the same super-hero movie rule book.

One thing Marvel own brand movies promise is a taste of the interconnected community which made the original Silver Age comics so great - I loved the fact that Spidey could swing by and have a chinwag with Daredevil, or the Hulk would drop into town and tangle with Captain America for a tinkle. This sort of thing hasn't been possible with the rights strewn all over Hollywood, so bringing a big chunk of them back home seems like a good idea to me.

Anyhoo, to Iron Man - who made his debut in Tales of Suspense 39, back in March 1963 - also a milestone date for Marvel. That month the crossover structure I've mentioned above was born as Spidey met the Fantastic Four in the first issue of his own comic and quartet took on the Hulk when he turned up in issue 12 of their magazine.
Tony Stark was a bit of a slow burner to begin with, his suit going through a variety of redesigns throughout the decade, but he was fully intrenched by 1966 when Marvel's contemporary crop of heroes made the leap from page to screen in the Grantray Lawrence produced Marvel Superheroes show.

To call the animation in the series limited would be putting it lightly - in fact some of it is beyond bad, entering an almost zen-like level of absurdity and surrealism, yet I find the shows well up a sense of extreme nostalgia in me, placing them (for my money) amoung the best interpretations of the Marvel characters. I'll return to explain all and go into a bit more detail in a later entry, but for now please feel free to enjoy a full length story in relatively top notch quality courtesy of DialBforblog, as a primer for the new movie ;)

* Iron Man was actually grey in his debut, as you can see from the Tales of Suspense cover posted above. Yah boo.

2008-02-16T03:16:00.000-08:00

INDIANA JONES and the alternative trailer scandal thing...

Little bit of a fan boy hoo hah kicking off in the regards to the new Indiana Jones trailer, which has caught my attention today. No big deal, just strange editing decisions to conform with ratings standards and a great way of flushing a bag of cash down the drain.

All the low down can be found here, as reported on Ain't It Cool News. The long & short is this: an American trailer for the movie has the Stars & Stripes slapped over the top and a shot of Indy & new chum Ray Winstone digitally fiddled with to remove a brace of machine guns pointing at the duo.

I must admit it seemed like a rather lacklustre shot to include in a trailer which relaunches a franchise - at least now it's inclusion makes much more sense, when viewed in the version those of us outside the US will get.

Now, it's nothing to get angry about - just a bloomin' trailer afterall - but it does seem a very odd thing to do (despite the fact that it was premiered alongside kiddie fantasy flick The Spiderwick Cronicles). Hard to see who's being protected by expensively erasing guns in a comic book movie trailer when TV screens must be full of horrendous real life stuff like this...

Those with too much time on their hands can check the shiz below:

2008-02-14T10:55:00.002-08:00

THINGS ARE GETTING INDY ROUND HERE - Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

2008 is certainly a banner year for franchise fans. The Dark Knight returns, with a terribly tragic (if morbidly suitable) cloud hanging over his proceedings and Bond blasts his way back onto the big screen in the follow up to the rebootiful Casino Royale.
But it was always going to be Indiana Jones to whom I'd first tip my proverbial fedora. Not because I'm a big fan of the series as a whole, but because I don't think I'll ever stop lovin' Raiders of the Lost Ark. It's the flick that keeps on flicking - perfectly cast, beautifully shot and paced like a thoroughbred.

Whilst harking back to the cliffhanger era from the golden age of Hollywood, it was one of the last hurrahs of make-do guerrilla grindhouse genre film-making, before the bloated effects laden blockbusters that still blight our box-offices today took hold. Who would have thunk at the time that 27 or so years later we'd get another day trip with the venerable Dr Jones?

Well, the teaser trailer took it's web-based bow for the first time today and frankly I don't quite know what to make of it...
Great to see the man in the hat back in action, but it all looks a bit too throwaway and jokey - much more like a cartoon than I had hoped. I can't get my head around svelte Cate Blanchett as a Brooksian bobbed Commie bulldyke - looking like she's stepped out of a Morecambe & Wise sketch. It's a pleasure to see Karen Allen finally returning, but I'm not convinced on the whole LaBeouf thing.

Moreover, although I'm far from against Indy swinging around the girders of (what looks like) the warehouse from the aforementioned Raiders, I'd wince at the sight of ol'Jackie Chan whopping into a truck windscreen these days, let alone the pensionable Ford. I don't wish to pooh pooh the man, just say "take it easy" and "watch your back".

It's not the years, you know - it's the mileage...

Does all this matter though? Not in the slightest - when it opens I'll no doubt plonk myself smack dab in the middle of the biggest cinema I can find, preferably with a fantastic chum who shares my boundless enthusiasm for the original return of the great adventure (and who loudly regurgitated whole chunks of iconic dialog to disinterested drinkers in a quiet pub earlier this very week).

2007-12-24T05:26:00.000-08:00

CHRISTMAS IN BOLLYWOOD LAND!
Helen boogies with Old Saint Nick from KALICHARAN (1976)

At this festive time of year Santa Claus turns up in some of the most unlikely places, but in a Bollywood production starring the one and only H-Bomb? Who'da thunk it?

Kalicharan is your typical 70s Bollywood thriller with the hero disguising himself as a funky n'er-do-well in order to infiltrate the organisation of a nefarious gangster (complete with Blofeldesque canine accompaniment).

It's hardly classic stuff and Helen's festive frolic is certainly the highlight; including as it does, a wild party, grotesque masks, an all-dancing Mariachi band armed with plastic space guns and some supremely raucous licks from composers Kalyanji Anandji. Their score lifts liberally from Western influences - the opening theme being a blatant rip of John Barry's Girl With the Sun in her Hair (from a 60s shampoo commercial no less!).

For the curious and adventurous amoung you the movie is available on VCD and DVD from UltraIndia.

2007-12-19T14:10:00.000-08:00

CULT45 - it's already here...

Poptique hasn't taken over your airwaves - it's just nuzzling in a little corner of them...

Sneaking out just before Christmas and keeping you warm all winter long, Cult45 is basically a TV version of the Poptique blog - and a touch more regular to boot!

If you're in the UK and have access to satellite television Cult45 is playing out every Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday thanks to the wonderful peeps at Sumo.tv.

It's broadcast at 11pm & 2am on channel 144 for the next six weeks and will be available for viewing online pretty soon...

I'll be dropping more info on the series over the next few weeks - if you're able to, please tune in!

2007-12-19T03:33:00.000-08:00

ITALIAN SPIDERMAN

We all know about the Turkish Spider-man, not to mention the Japanese Spidey (and lest we forget - the other Turkish Wallcrawler), but did you ever hear tell of the Italian Spiderman? Well, neither did I until this very day...

Well, it certainly entertained my confused mind with it's Mario-esque webbed wonder, over-wrought hype factor and suitably stellar (plus substantially pilfered) soundtrack. In fact the only dubious detail is it's supposed debut of 1964 - surely '68 would be a more accurate date - or am I just being pedantic?

Take a trip into the crazed minds of the people behind Italian Spiderman by visiting their Myspaces - here and also here!

2007-12-15T11:41:00.000-08:00

BELOW ZERO

Still cold, still festive - time for some Laurel & Hardy? Absolutely...

Below Zero from 1930 is perhaps the quintessential depression era comedy. Everyone is either put upon, a chiseler or a roughneck - even a blind passerby is a shim-shamming con artist. And there you have Stan & Ollie at their most sublimely naive - trying to earn their daily bread busking "In the Good Ol'Summertime" to freezing street stompers in the middle of a snow-swept winter...

The first half of the movie (featured above) follows the Boy's musical misadventures - climaxing in the destruction of their only source of income - whilst the second features them discovering the down & outs dream ticket: a dropped wallet stuffed full of green backs!

After nearly being brained for their trouble they invite the policeman who aided their narrow escape for a slap up dinner - with terrible consequences. The short is topped off with one their most bizarre and brilliantly executed freak endings.

How this all remains hilarious as opposed to horrific is a testament to their consummate skill as comedians & filmmakers.

Now, I'm sure most of you don't need me to tell you that such was the massive popularity of the Boys worldwide during this era, Stan & Ollie remade their short films in a variety of languages once they'd completed the English versions. Unlike the clip above they weren't over dubbed - since talkie technology was still in it's infancy at the time - but shot again from scratch with the lines spoken phonetically. If anything this made them even more charming and popular to audiences.

When budgetary constraints combined with advancements in sound made reshoots redundant, fans demanded the dubbed versions retained the same stilted and accented delivery they had come to expect!

The original Spanish version of Below Zero (Tiembla y Titubea / Shivering & Shaking) has survived and is available on this DVD - I've not seen it but I've been led to believe it features a around 10 minutes of extra footage, as - once again - their fame overseas meant many of these alternative versions would often be released as the main feature attraction...

2007-12-13T15:07:00.001-08:00

FROSTY

It's reet chilly out there this evening, especially when you mistakenly get on the wrong train and find yourself ejected two stations down from your desired destination. Did allow for a lovely evening amble through my frost bitten town centre, dripping with Christmas lights all a-glow, making me feel festive through and through.

If there had been carol singers in attendance I doubt I could have resisted the temptation to run about like a loon hollering "Merry Christmas Beford Falls" but perhaps thankfully I made a mental note to scour Youtube for some suitably yuletidian clips to maintain my seasonal state of mind instead.

One of my favourites is this tiny short from UPA, a perennial favourite in Chicago from 1953 on - or so I've been reliably informed. Lovely to think this would be stuck on at random times over Christmas to give viewers a fuzzy feeling inside - sort of like a little present from your telly...

This type of random annual treat is restricted purely to the ad breaks these days, immediately losing it's fuzziness as Santa shoves a Coke bottle down our collective throats once again.

I fondly recall an animated rendition of the 12 Days of Christmas that used to play out on the BBC back in the very early 80s (love to see that again!)

First saw UPA's Frosty the Snowman on Toon Tracker many years ago, and a few low res have been knocking about the internet, but now Mark Evanier has helpfully pointed to the Mueseum of Broadcast Communications who offer this short along with other seasonal shorts of a similar vintage.

Ahh Christmas - innit brill?

2007-12-11T14:27:00.000-08:00

BACK

Yup, your friendly neighbourhood Poptique blog has returned - reports of any dubious nature were no doubt greatly exaggerated or fabricated entirely..!

Apologies to visitors both regular and otherwise, the rather lovely reason behind the ghostly silence will become clear pretty soon...

2007-09-24T03:02:00.000-07:00

ZEENAT AMAN BUSTS MOVES BLIND in HEERALAAL PANNALAAL (1978)

What better way to greet the week than with a spot of day-glo Bollywood insanity - courtesy of Heeralal Pannalal, a loopy buddy movie from the late 70s scored by that masterly maestro R.D. Burman?

Here we have lovely heroine Zeenat Aman feigning blindness in order to track down her dear-departed father. This being Bollywood, the trifling matter of life-and-death subterfuge doesn't stop here engaging in an eye-popping song & dance number, (vocals via the legendarily ubiquitous Asha Bhosle).

Watch in wonder as a girl gang of grouchy guitarists groove away, under the watchful eye of a mustachioed crime lord - sporting the most hellbent headgear ever conceived!!

70s bombshell Aman hit the ground running after her sultry (and award winning) performance in Hare Ram Hare Krishna. Life hasn't provided her with the easiest of rides, but she was recently ear-marked as the All Time Sex Symbol of Bollywood Cinema - and who I am to argue with such wise judgement..?

If you were wondering who provided the grunting, growling male playback - (and if not, you should have been) - it was none other than Burman himself, proving once again to be one of the most unique forces of nature nurtured by the motion picture screen!

Many thanks to Symaster for posting this, along with gaggles more glorious Bollywood clips on Youtube ;)

2007-09-16T14:09:00.000-07:00

Ditko Doco Definite Diamond! - Johnathan Ross In Search of Steve Ditko reviewed...

Regular readers will know that very little gets me blogging with bated breath these days, but I felt duty bound to reference this evening's screening of Johnathan Ross In Search of Steve Ditko reet sharpish like...

Without doubt the finest, and certainly the most enjoyable and intelligent documentary I've ever seen on comic books, it squeezed in an impressive wealth of detail, down to discussing Steve Ditko's most confrontational creation, Mr A, & the inspiration behind him at some length.

Johnathan faced down Smilin' Stan Lee in a pretty candid & revealing interview, alongside golden moments with legends like Alan Moore, Jerry Robinson, John Romita - even finding time for Silver age secretary Flo Steinberg!

Possibly the highest point of fanboyism came near the end as Ross attempted to get in contact with Ditko, writer Neil Gaimen tagging along as his sidekick. Gaiman manfully described himself as Etta Candy to Johnathan's Wonder Woman, and what followed was a true passion affirming popculture moment for anyone who grew up reading and loving comic books...and still does.

Fabulous, inspiring stuff - can't think of anyone else working in television today who could have done a finer job (or would even have been given the opportunity) - so hats tipped in the direction of BBC4 also...

(Eyeteeth would have been duly supplied to have worked on the show, but I did notice a clip of the notorious death-by-boat-propeller scence from Turkish Spider-man epic, 3 Dev Adam. That may have come courtesy of a pre-release Onar DVD I slipped the big man himself last year, so it certainly pasted a big grin across my mug. Although no Japanese Spider-man? For shame... ;)

2007-09-15T08:44:00.000-07:00

Ditko Doco drops anchor! Jonathan Ross - In Search of Steve Ditko.

Heads up for this - broadcast on BBC4 in the UK this coming Sunday evening and no doubt appearing at a torrent site near you soon : a brand spanking new documentary on Steve Ditko, the infamously private co-creator of your friendly neighbourhood Spider-man and sorcerer supreme Dr Strange, (not to mention such iconoclastic characters as The Creeper, Hawk & Dove, The Question and Mr A).

This came as a bit of a surprise to me back in April when first mentioned on Ross's Saturday morning radio show, as I was under the incorrect impression that Mr Ditko had long since shuffled off to the big comic store in the sky, along with contemporaries such as Jack Kirby and Wally Wood - which perfectly illustrates how much attention I tend to pay to the latest goings on in the medium these days...

Genuinely looking forward to this - in my book Ross is still the godfather of cult programming since his watershed series The Incredibly Strange Film Show opened up a whole wide world of cinematic weirdness to impressionable viewers, such as m'self. I'm of the opinion that productions like this come alive and thrive when fronted by a genuine enthusiast rather than a faceless identikit voiceover (same applies to any documentary really, from David Attenborough to the current BBC2 series The Story of India with Michael Wood - one of the very best things on the box at the mo).

Alongside his day job as the BBC's top presenter and chat show host, Ross has unleashed series after series on grindhouse movies and Asian popular culture, but has never tackled comic books - a subject very close to his heart. (In fact a couple of years ago Damon Albarn put Ross on the spot on his talkshow by pointing out this very fact - to which he responded he preferred to keep this passion more or less private).

Well, if you're going to break your word and whop out a private passion for all and sundry to gawp at you couldn't find a better subject than the Steve Ditko, and this promises to be a benchmark show - comic books have never been highly valued by mainstream television and the only half decent study I can recall is Comic Book Confidential (which was a movie anyway, and actually something more than half decent - well worth watching.).

In Search of Steve Ditko is showing on BBC4 at 9pm on Sunday 16th of September (repeated Wednesday 19th at 12:30am) as part of the Comics Britannia season, which also includes some airings of the classic, camped up 1960s Batman show, so ya-boo for that. ;)

(Ooo - before I forget, there's a couple of enlightening pieces on Ditko and the show here, on Mark Evanier's always eye opening website.)

Toodles!